“Who would even care?” I shrug, surprised by my coldness.
“I would since it’d land me in foster care,” Chiara snaps back, crossing her arms over her chest.
I hesitate, taking a deep breath. “All right,” I concede, taking back the money and leaving twenty on the counter instead. “Better?”
“Thank you.” She nods, a flicker of relief flashing in her eyes.
We leave the apartment, and I instantly feel some of my unease lifting. I vow that Carolina won’t spend any more time here than she absolutely has to.
After we are safely back in the truck, all sitting on the bench seat in the front again with the baskets on the back seats, Xander starts the engine to drive back home. Chiara takes Carolina’s laptop from the basket behind her and puts it on her lap.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Carolina said she’d buy me a new laptop for Christmas, but I don’t think that’s happening now. So, I’m just going to use hers until she can get me one,” she explains nonchalantly.
The truck comes to a screeching halt, and I quickly put my arm out to keep Chiara from being thrown forward.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Xander snaps, glaring at her from the driver’s seat, his grip tight on the steering wheel. “Do you even listen to what comes out of your mouth? How the hellyou turned out to be such a spoiled brat living like that is a mystery to me.”
I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, Carolina gave up everything so she could have all she wanted.”
I already guessed as much, but what we just saw confirms it.
Chiara rolls her eyes, her face flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and defiance. “It’s not like I asked her to do that for me. She chose to.”
I lean forward, locking my gaze on hers. In a calm but firm voice, I tell her, “Chiara, it’s not about what Carolina chose to do. It’s about recognizing the sacrifices she made for you and being thankful for them. Using her laptop without her permission and expecting her to buy you a new one is fucking ungrateful.”
Chiara crosses her arms, her gaze fixed on the window. “I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this. It’s just a laptop.”
Xander takes a deep breath, obviously trying to control his temper. I can see his jaw clenching. “It’s not about the laptop, Chiara. It’s about the principle. Carolina has given up so much for you, and instead of seeing that and being thankful, you act entitled. She went through years of abuse to protect you and was even willing to stay in this fucked-up situation to make sure you’re okay, and you can’t even bring yourself to treat her with respect?”
I add, “We’re not saying you can’t have nice things or that you shouldn’t want them, but you need to understand the value of what you have and the sacrifices made for you to have them.”
Chiara remains silent for a moment, her gaze distant. “I just… I just wanted to fit in with my friends. They all have the newest stuff, and I feel left out.” I watch her cheeks turn a little pink, and she gnaws on her bottom lip.
Xander’s expression softens a bit. “We get that, but there are other ways to fit in without taking advantage of your sister’skindness. And maybe it’s time to think about what kind of friends you have if they only value you for the things you own.”
Chiara looks down, tears forming in her eyes. “Fine.”
Xander takes the laptop and puts it back in the basket. He nods to himself and starts the truck again, the atmosphere heavy between us when he speaks again, “It’s never too late to change, Chiara. Just remember the love and sacrifices that have been madefor you.It’s time to give back, even in small ways.”
Cold water streamsover my body, washing away the sweat and tension and cooling me down.
I completely overdid it. Pushed myself to the brink, but fuck, I didn’t care. I needed an outlet for all these overwhelming feelings. Since drinking was out of the question, given my upcoming shift, jumping rope was the only distraction I could think of. I’d done it for hours, more intensely than ever, trying to silence my chaotic thoughts, but it didn’t help.
I have never felt so lost and torn. One of my best friends, the only true friend I’ve had since kindergarten, now hates me with a passion. And my other best friend, the one I’ve fallen in love with, is lying injured and unconscious in the hospital.
I wonder what she would think about this entire fuck-up. I let out a wry chuckle, imagining her reaction. She’d probably give us that signature unimpressed look before calling us both fucking idiots.
Stepping out of the shower, I reach for a towel. “Come on, kitten, wake up. I need you to come for me this time,” I murmur to myself.
I’m desperate to be by her side, to hold her hand and tell her this to her face. But Xander told me not to do it, knowing that Josh was going to visit her this morning. The last thing I want is to further complicate things by running into him there. Instead, I plan to visit her tonight. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get into her room without being caught by her doctor.
I dry off, and the dark circles under my eyes stare back at me from the mirror. They look like they are here to stay. “Deserved,” I whisper to myself in the reflection.
The weight of my guilt feels suffocating. I’ll never forgive myself if my carelessness has ruined our family.
I spend a few more moments cursing myself out, and then I get ready for another shift from hell with my former best friend.
