He either doesn’t see me or is choosing to ignore me. “What are you doing?” I ask, finally breaking the silence between us.
“None of your damn business,” he barks out, moving around me and making his way downstairs.
I follow him, determined to clear the air. He struggles to open the front door, and I take the opportunity to place a hand on his shoulder. He instantly jerks away from me.
“Josh, this is your house. You don’t need to leave,” I plead, tears filling my eyes. “Let’s talk about this, please. I swear I haven’t done anything yet, and I wanted to talk to you about—” I start, but he interrupts with a scoff.
“Oh, you haven’t done anythingyet? I should be grateful you managed to keep your dick in your pants, right?” His expression hardens.
“What? No, that’s not… fuck.” I exhale, overwhelmed and frustrated, letting my head fall in my hands.
I’m terrible at handling shit like this.
“I’m requesting a new partner tomorrow,” he states, and I feel the air knocked out of me.
“Joshy,” I whisper, tears streaming down my face.
“Don’t call me that,” he snaps back. “You two can start looking for another place. I’ll stay with Sophia until you’ve moved. I can still work with you professionally until they figure out our new partners. But keep it job-related, or I’ll file a complaint that I won’t work with you a second longer.”
I bite my tongue and nod, realizing there’s nothing more I can say to make this right. I drop my gaze. The last thing I hear is the front door shutting behind him.
“Come here,” Xander beckons from the top of the stairs, extending his hand to me when I turn to him. I trudge up the stairs and let him draw me into a tight hug. “It’s going to be okay,” he murmurs against my hair.
“I always ruin everything,” I cry out, my voice breaking into a sob as I clutch the back of his shirt.
He gently kisses my forehead and pulls back slightly to meet my gaze. “Do you really think Carolina would let him cut you out of his life over this?” He wipes away a tear from my cheek with his thumb. “She’s going to kick his ass, and he’ll come around. You know it. Come on, let’s go to bed so I can hold you,” he soothes, guiding me toward our bedroom.
FOUR
The lackof sleep for the second night is taking a toll on me. The constant stress, worry, and emotional turmoil have left me feeling mentally and physically sick. My body aches all over, and a gnawing nausea churns in the pit of my stomach, making it impossible to eat.
I head to the hospital as soon as visiting hours begin so I can spend time by her side. I just need to be back home in time to help Chiara before my shift starts this afternoon. Sophia asked Xander if we could borrow his truck to help her move her things.
The doctor said the swelling is receding, but it’s taking longer than they initially expected, which only heightens my anxiety. I can’t bear to think of complications or the possibility of her not waking up. Yet, the doctor told me to keep faith and be patient.
“I’ve waited for you my whole life. I can wait a few more days,” I whisper to Carolina, leaning in to kiss her temple. “But don’t make me wait too long, my Carolina. I have so much planned for us.”
I gently squeeze her hand before leaving the hospital and taking the subway home.
The ride is rough but necessary. Whenever I have needed to drive anywhere during my off-duty hours, I have always askedXander or Clay for a ride or borrowed Xander’s truck, but with things as they currently are, that wasn’t an option today.
I was so happy just days ago. What the fuck happened?
Sure, I take the blame for not noticing anything earlier and doing something for Carolina, but Clay? We’ve been best friends since kindergarten and roommates since we were eighteen. We completed police training together and kept each other motivated even when everything sucked. I was there for him when his mother died, and he was there for me when my parents just up and left. I can’t think of a time when he wasn’t by my side, whether it was good or bad. And he just threw all that out the window because…
… because ofher.
I sigh. At least that part I can understand. She is worth a lot of trouble. I love Clay like a brother, but when it comes down to it, which it does now, I would always choose her. I just wish I didn’t need to. But I can’t just forgive him for something like that, right? I mean, what would that mean? Living with them and knowing that my best friend has a major crush on my girl? Never knowing if he is trying stuff behind my back? How do I know if he hasn’t already?
It’s all so complicated, and I can’t help but wonder what the fuck I should do.
The subway car rumbles on, and I close my eyes for a moment, using the time it takes to get home to try and find some semblance of peace amid the chaos that has become my life.
As I walk up to our house, I see the Ford parked outside, ready to collect Chiara’s and Carolina’s things. Xander is in the driver’s seat with Chiara next to him.
I open the driver’s door, my frustration at him is evident as I snap, “Thanks, I can take it from here.”
“Get in. I’m coming,” Xander grunts out, and I mentally prepare myself for another fight.
