If anyone knows her way around sex, it’s definitely her. Maybe she can help?
I clear my throat. “No, I haven’t lost my V-card to him, but I want to. I’m just unsure how and?—”
Cindy interrupts. “We need to sit down for this.” She grabs a bottle of tequila from the bar and pulls me to a table to sit.
Offering me the bottle, I decline, still feeling the last hangover. She takes a sip herself and says, “What do you need to know? I’m an open book.”
“Well, I think I should start by giving him head, but…”
Cindy cuts me off immediately, “Nope, we’re not going to do this, Carolina. Did he go down on you?”
“Not yet,” I admit.
“He needs to be the first to give head, or else you’ll end up just sucking his dick for years without getting anything in return,” she says.
“I don’t think Joshua would?—”
Cindy interrupts again. “All men would. If you give him what he wants too easily, he won’t put in the effort. So, make sure he goes down on you first before you do anything for him. Clear?”
I can’t help but smirk. “Yes, ma’am. But you did say I should give him my V-card. Isn’t that also giving him what he wants too easily?”
She laughs. “Fuck that! Losing your V-card is about you, not him. If you were sixteen, I’d say yes, it’s too soon. But you’re twenty-two, and if you want to get it over with, he’s a great candidate for it. Even if it’s going to be bad, and trust me, it probably will be, you can look back at it and be proud for tapping that.”
I laugh, and she smiles before taking another sip from the bottle.
“It will be bad?” I ask, feeling a bit vulnerable.
“Yeah, it might hurt for a bit, but if he cares for you beforehand, it won’t last long. But let’s be real, I’ve never heard any girl say their first time was good. You can only hope it won’t be terrible.”
“Wow, you’re selling this, huh?” I say.
She smiles, “But the second time will be nice, the third time will be good, and after the fourth, you’ll never want to stop again. To get there, you have to get it over with.”
“And how do I start?” I ask, looking down at my hands in my lap.
“Girl, you go over there, get in bed with him, and take his dick in your hands. The rest will follow on its own.”
“Really? Just like that?”
“Just like that. And if, by some miracle, he doesn’t get the hint, just tell him, ‘I want you. Please make me yours.’ That shit drives men crazy,” she says, and I raise an eyebrow. “You could also just say, ‘Take me’ or ‘Fuck me,’ but I don’t think you’re bold enough for that yet. But we’ll get there,” she adds with a wink.
I think about it for a minute, and she’s right. I want to sleep with Joshua. I want to have this with him. I’m ready. Fuck it, I’ve been ready for years. I just waited for him.
I take the bottle of tequila from her hand, take a sip, and cough a little before saying, “Wish me luck.” I stand and head to the locker to get my stuff.
“Get it, girl!” she yells enthusiastically after me.
FORTY-SEVEN
In frontof Sophia’s and Joshua’s houses, I wait nervously before the door that leads to Joshua’s side. I look down at my phone, checking the message I just sent him.
Open the door for me?
I know I took a risk coming here after one in the morning, and there’s a chance he might already be asleep. But I had to try. If he doesn’t answer, I can always go back home.
Suddenly, the door opens, and Joshua appears with wide eyes. He’s already dressed in navy sleeping pants and a white T-shirt.
“Carolina, what are you—” He starts to say, but I grab his shirt collar, pulling him down for a kiss.
