I hung up, knowing he would return my call or message sooner than I would want him to. Even though my health was a priority, I was sure I could survive with continued medication for a little longer. I had survived worse with less. That’s what I told myself. And Donna needed my help immediately. And that was the truth I couldn’t ignore.
My phone buzzed.
DR. SLOAN
Another couple of months, Nyah? You can’t manage with the meds forever. I’ve told you I would help you out if money were the issue. I’m very worried about you, but I’ll have your medication ready on Tuesday. Please don’t put off this surgery again!
Guilt ensconced itself in my chest. He was right—and I hated that he was right.
I kept my reply brief.
With that sorted, I messaged Patty to confirm that I would pick her up for church and then join her for lunch.I was trying to figure out a suitable plan of action for transportation when a message pinged through.
CALEB
Good morning. I hope you got to sleep in. I had a great time last night. Thank you for including me. See you soon.
See you soon?I frowned at the words, rereading them twice. Had I said something I didn’t remember? Promised something I hadn’t meant to?My mind ran through the previous night, the dancing, the closeness, the way my body had reacted when I hadn’t thought it would.Sending him a quick reply, I desperately tried to think of what I might have said that he’d misconstrued.
My phone rang.
Thinking it was Donna and bracing myself for further sobs from her, I immediately picked up without lookingat the caller ID.
“You said you were going to church today.” Caleb’s voice sounded cheery.“As you haven’t a car, and I haven’t spoken to the good man upstairs for a while, would you mind if I joined you?”
“Umm…” I hesitated, a little surprised he wanted to come. But who was I to question kindness when it appeared so easily? “Sure,” I said. “Mass is at noon, about twenty minutes from here. Patty—my old neighbour—lives ten minutes away. Would you mind if we picked her up, too?”
“No problem. I’ll be there by 11:30.”
After Mass,we headed back to Patty’s apartment, where the aroma of cookies and the scent of her citrus disinfectant wipes filled the air.
Over lunch, Caleb entertained us with stories from his travels.He spoke easily, confidently, and Patty listened like every word mattered.
Patty liked him; I could tell by the way she reached over and touched his hand every now and then.
Later, while I helped carry out the leftover dishes, Patty said, “You two would make a lovely couple, you know.”
I laughed awkwardly. Deflection had always been my strongest skill. Besides, it didn’t feel like Caleb wanted anything more. He wasn’t shy—if he did, he would have made a move by now. Men like him didn’t hesitate. They chose.
“It’s been two years since Harper left for New York,” Patty said, breaking in on my thoughts. “You have to move on eventually.”
It sounded so neat when she said it, like time alone was enough to heal something that had split me open.
Harper… the memory surfaced, vivid and uninvited.
I had first met Harper Pearson at a restaurant in the winter of 2009.Sitting at the table beside me, he had come to my rescue when a meeting with a business tycoon had gone wrong. Hehad invited the man to leave and was in the process of getting security to help before the guy got the message. We’d ended up going out for dinner. An unplanned beginning that felt oddly inevitable.
Harper was a brilliant, ambitious lawyer, and the first person I had ever told about my past.Vowing always to protect me, he had professed he loved me just two months after we had started dating.Too soon, I’d thought. But he hadn’t pushed when I couldn’t say it back.That patience had meant everything to me.
It was my first relationship, and I was wary. I took a while to become emotionally attached, but he was patient and understanding.Iremembered the first time I had asked him to stay. I was terrified by the prospect of intimacy, but he had just held me close, and we slept. No pressure. No expectations.
I rewarded that act of kindness the following night.After leaving Lucas with Patty, we went on a date before going back to his apartment.I felt safe in his arms, and his voice was soothing as his touch sent my body into paroxysms of pleasure.
After five months together, I knew that I loved him; I’d wanted to tell him, too, but fate had other plans.Fate always did.
The night he told me his dream had come true—that he was starting his own firm—I had been genuinely proud of him. Truly happy.
He wanted Lucas and me to move to New York with him, as if uprooting my entire life were simple. I wanted to want it. But wanting something doesn’t make it possible. I had built stability in Vancouver for my son—routine, safety, a life that worked. I couldn’t abandon that for a man I had been dating only six months, no matter how much I cared about him.
