"She made her choice."
"I know." And I do. I know that the compound didn't put a gun to Elena's head or a knife in her hand. It just built the architecture of a cage so thorough, that even when the walls came down, the blueprints stayed. I know because I carry blueprints too. Different ones. But I know how they work.
"They never raped me. They said I was reserved for someone up top. They still beat me though, had to make sure I was going to submit when time came to it."
A long pause. His heartbeat under my ear, steady and heavy.
"You survived, baby."
I breathe in.
"I did, but it feels like I was handed a cheat code while everyone else paid full price." A new tear rolls down my cheek. "I survived because of Matt."
Elio goes still.
"Matt kept me together in there." My fingers trace the edge of a faded scar on his ribs. "I don't know if I would have..."
I stop. Start again.
"I know," Elio says. His voice is even. A perfectly flat surface.
I look up at him. His face in the low lamplight, every angle sharp, every expression locked behind something I can't read.
"I was going to say, and because of you."
His breathing stops as his body tenses beneath me.
"Both of you got me out."
He says nothing, but his arms tighten around me as his jaw works against my hair.
I'm drifting. Almost gone. The heaviness pulling me under like warm water, finally, finally surrendering to the exhaustion it's been hoarding for weeks.
"I had a meeting a couple of days ago," he says. "Following a lead about the American."
"Following a lead."
I prop myself up on one elbow. "Did you find anything?"
He meets my eyes.
"Nothing concrete."
I lie back down, my eyes closing with disappointment.
"I need you to trust me, Violet," he says.
I want to reply that I do, but my eyelids are heavy and words are hard to form, and before I know it, I'm asleep.
18
VIOLET
Elio looks up when Matt walks into the kitchen, his eyes tracking Matt's steps to the fridge as he pulls out a carton of orange juice and pours himself a glass.
His gaze feels charged somehow, like he's trying to crack Matt in half and see what's hiding inside. But it's Matt we're talking about. A goofy teacher who quotes Shakespeare and tells bad jokes. There's nothing to crack.
Or it could be jealousy, because as soon as Matt walked in Elio's hand found the small of my back, pulling my chair closer to his.
