Eventually, he pulls away, despite my body listing forward in resistance. The golden starbursts in his eyes blaze with heat. “Eat, firefly. You’re going to need your strength.” He gives my jaw one last caress, then heads to the bedroom.
I stay at the bar for a moment, in awe at how much has changed in the past days and weeks. I’m realizing the changes might be for the better, but it’s no wonder I’ve struggled.
My hand moves to rest protectively over my lower belly, careful not to press on the blistered skin. I went too far the lasttime. Too hot, too soon after the previous time. Showering last night was painful.
I hate that I’m so weak that I can’t cope without falling apart.
That’s grown into my biggest fear—that D will learn how damaged I am and walk away. The moment of truth is coming. I can’t hide my body from him much longer, and I’m terrified of what he’ll think about my shameful secrets.
It’s a collision course I can’t avoid.
A chill wraps its icy fingers around me until I’m cold to my bones.
I’ll eat, but first, I have to grab a hoodie to stave off the cold settling in my bones. I head to the bedroom but pause when I hear D talking in the bathroom.
“Eleven works, but not my place this time. I’ll come to you.” His voice is low and even. I’d guess he’s dictating a text rather than talking on the phone. Making plans to meet with someone. It could be anyone.
Sure sounds like a booty call.
Stop! Do NOT go there. You are reading into things that you know nothing about.
Hearing that after dwelling on my existing fears drags me deep into muddy waters, despite the pleas of my logical mind. I spin around and march myself back to the living room, where I wrap up in a blanket and sink into the couch.
Every time I take a mental step forward, something pulls me back by half a step. I’m making progress, but it’s a fight, and the constant battle is exhausting.
I get dressed after DiAngelo, and not long after, Tommy arrives. I’ve been so preoccupied with D that I forgot to stress about seeing my brother. It’s the first time we’ve been alone since the phone fiasco.
This day keeps getting better and better.
To my relief, he’s quick to give me a hug, which isn’t exactly his MO. He’s making an effort to show me I have nothing to fear.
“Hey, Mr. T,” I say with a shy smile, using the nickname I gave him as a kid after seeing an old episode of The A-Team. We’re the two youngest of four, so we spent a good amount of time together growing up.
He raises an aristocratic brow. “Oh, really?” No one plays the comedic straight man like a neurodivergent. Tommy has a wicked sense of humor if you’re adept at deciphering it. Knowing that, it doesn’t take much for him to tickle me.
My giggles trail off when I notice DiAngelo securing Bonny’s leash.
“You’re taking her with you?” I ask, surprised. He’s been using a dog walker while I’ve been staying with him so that he doesn’t have to leave me alone, and otherwise, he’s kept Bonny at the apartment.
“I am. Hopefully, you two can manage to be apart for a few hours.”
“I suppose I’ll manage.” Surely, taking the dog with him is a sign that he’s not meeting up with another woman while he’s out. I latch onto that reassurance and give him a smile.
DiAngelo leans down and plants a possessive kiss on my lips right in front of Tommy.
My stomach cannonballs into my feet, then soars high into the sky. D knows exactly what he’s doing—nothing he does is without purpose—and that is especially evident when he pulls away and shoots a glare at my brother.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Tommy nods, then locks the door behind him. When he turns back to me, my cheeks flame a bright crimson. I don’t need a mirror to know. The heat is telling enough.
“It’s a relief to know I don’t need to put a bullet between his eyes,” Tommy says flatly.
I smack his chest. “Tommaso Donati! He’s your family—you swore an oath.”
Tommy doesn’t flinch. “You’re my blood. You come first. Always have, always will.”
Emotion clogs my throat as love swells in my chest. I’m not sure I can take much more without bursting into tears, and judging by the increasing worry in his eyes, Tommy has reached his capacity for feels as well.
