We’re in the living room chatting with everyone. He and I are sitting smooshed together on the couch—it’s the first time we’ve been close around family. Isa and Shae keep grinning at me like idiots. Ordinarily, it wouldn’t bother me, but with allthe uncertainty, their scrutiny, even the happy kind, still feels unsettling.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” My attempt at a smile must not be all that convincing.
D raises a disbelieving brow. “You sure?”
You can be honest, Rina. Trust him, remember?
“It’s just a lot to process—the events, staying at a new place, and lots of people talking and the uncertainty. It’s just a lot.” That’s the best way I know how to describe it.
He presses a kiss to my forehead before rising, bringing me with him. “We’re calling it a night,” he announces to the room. “Renzo, I’ll be ready by seven.”
Relief washes over me when he takes my hand and leads me from the room, Bonny close at our heels.
“Thank you, D.”
“No skin off my back. I’d rather have time alone with you anyway.” He squeezes my hand, bringing a smile to my face that I feel deep in my chest. “I was wondering, though, if you’ve ever talked to someone about this stuff—a professional.”
“Like a therapist?”
“Yeah.”
“Not exactly.”
“How come? I know I’m probably not one to talk, but if you don’t like it when you get overwhelmed, wouldn’t it be good to get help with it?” His tone is feathered with worry rather than judgment, which keeps me from feeling defensive at his question. He genuinely wants the best for me.
“I considered it, but it’s been drilled into me since I was little that we don’t discuss our lives with outsiders. Opening up to a therapist would mean telling themeverything. I could never forgive myself if the feds went after my family because of me.”
“That’s honorable of you, babe, but fuck that. Your mental health comes first, and I know your family would agree. Besides,there are some sort of patient confidentiality rules. I say, you should give it a try to see if it helps.”
“That’s what Isa said.”
“You talked to her about it?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.” He leads us into our room and pauses, a smirk teasing his lips. “If it helps you feel more comfortable, I could always have a word with the therapist first to make sure they understand the importance of discretion.”
I purse my lips in thought. “I suppose that would give them valuable insight into what I’m up against.”
“Up against?” His brows rise high on his forehead, playfully. “I’ll show you up against.”
The next thing I know, my back is flush with the wall, and D’s mouth is plundering mine. We shower together in the en suite bathroom. It’s smaller than we’re used to, leading to a lot of touching, which results in a lot of sex.
I’m feeling far more relaxed by the time I crawl into bed. DiAngelo is scrolling on his phone when I join him. He lifts the covers to draw me close to him.
“Come watch with me.”
Tucked against his body, I’m wrapped in contentment while watching a video of a horse splashing in a drainage ditch and covering its rider in mud. His chest rumbles with muted laughter beneath me, and I outright giggle. He scrolls to the next video, which is a compilation of dogs twitching and snoring in their sleep.
We spend almost an hour immersed in silly animal videos. It’s an incredible distraction, as he intended. I forget my worries entirely, and when the lights go out, I’m too exhausted to dredge them up. Within minutes, I’m fast asleep.
My fears must stay with me, however, because I wake extra early. The sun isn’t even up, yet I’m wide awake. I know I’ll fidgetand disrupt his sleep if I stay, so I ease out of the bed and quietly slip from the room.
We’re staying on the second floor, where most of the bedrooms are located. I could go kill time in the living room downstairs, but I’d feel awkward down there alone with Cosimo if he happened to be up. I’d rather find somewhere else to chill for a bit until the others wake up.
Our bedroom is across from Isa’s, and Renzo’s family is staying down the hall. There’s another bedroom by theirs and one next to ours. I decide to check out the one closest to us, hoping I’ll hear D when he gets up. Cracking open the door, I turn on the light and realize right away where I am. This was Isa’s brother’s room.
It doesn’t appear as though anything has changed since he passed years ago. There’s no dust, so it gets cleaned, but otherwise, the room is a monument to the loss this family suffered.
