Her obvious affection hadn’t gone unnoticed by my stepfather either, his eyes narrowing on his fiancée. “So you’ve noticed her qualities too?”
My eyes shot to hers once more, the warning in them clear: Don’t go there! Even just a hint and it’s game over. There was no telling what he would do...
“Oh, yes, I can seeexactlywhy you would keep her around.”
I couldn’t breathe, fear and some unidentifiable emotion rendering me immobile. I fixed my gaze on my plate, my hands working the cutlery unseeingly over the food.
Please drop this ... please drop this ... please drop this!
I could feel Dad’s gaze flicking between us, could almost hear the cogs in his brain working overtime as my own guilty conscience had him putting two and two together.
I needed to distract him. I needed to get the focus off me ...off us!I was angry at Emma for her open appreciation, it was brazen and downright dangerous. But my own foolish ego couldn’t help feeling boosted. My heart swelling at her defense of me.
Thankful for my well-rehearsed ability to talk bullshit where my stepfather was concerned, I looked across at him and delivered the perfect line, “Yes, well, believe me, it cuts both ways.” I placed my hand on his forearm for added effect. “I am, after all, incredibly lucky to be here.”
“Too right,” came my father’s righteous response, his arm shrugging off my contact as he took up his own drink. “And now you are about to make that decision really pay off, my girl! Daniel’s father has already been in touch this morning to request we get together a week on Saturday.”
Emma’s eyes darted across at him. “Saturday?”
“Yes,” he said, taking an appreciative swig of wine, unaware that his words had been less than favorably received. “I believethe man is very much taken with how we do things around here and is after a repeat affair.”
A repeat affair? Just how much of a repeat?
A chill ran through me as I contemplated it. As much as the scene had enthralled me, as much as Daniel had filled a void, it was another thing entirely to go through it again. Not now. Not with all that I had learned that day, all the questions that remained unanswered and the undeniable attraction between Emma and I. My eyes locked with hers across the table, the idea of seeing her with another twisting my stomach and leaving me cold. She looked far from happy at the prospect too. Was she thinking the same?
“Of course, I have accepted on our behalf,” he continued.
“You have?” Emma said quietly, her eyes remaining level with mine.
“Absolutely! I’m not hanging around to give him chance to cool off,” he said. “Roger has suggested we spend the weekend at their lodge in the lakes. He says it’s a remote, quiet area, perfect for some more private gatherings...”
His voice carried on; he was oblivious to the tension in the air, of the unsaid words passing between Emma and I. A week on Saturday, that was no time in the future. There were things I needed to get straight in my head, things that I needed to understand.
“...so what do you think?”
My stepfather turned to me, the expectant expression on his face making it clear that he was waiting on me to respond. Only one problem — I had no idea to what he was referring, not specifically at any rate and I braced myself as I posed the ignorant question, “About what?”
“Christ, Abi!”
His exclamation made me jump, and Emma visibly winced.
“Can’t you stay focused for more than a second?” he admonished, his wine glass hitting the table with a resounding clunk, the red liquid sloshing to soil the crisp, white tablecloth beneath. I watched the stain seep outward, its spreading mass a fascinating reflection of my growing internal guilt and humility. “I was talking about Daniel’s feelings toward you, you must have an idea as to whether he is interested? I assume he is, considering he spent the night in your room?”
Emma coughed in obvious surprise and I felt my cheeks burn. It hadn’t occurred to me that this would be news to her. The realization that it was and the damning effect it would have on her opinion of me had my ears ringing. I didn’t want her to think less of me. And I certainly didn’t want her discovering like this.
There was nothing I could say, especially in front of my stepfather, that would make the news any easier to bear. But if I was being honest with myself, what could I possibly have to say that would get me out of this. Not when, for all my father’s digging, it was me that had jumped right in and allowed things to go as far as they had.
“Well, yeah ... sure, I think he likes me,” I fumbled over the words and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I watched Emma intently, desperate to catch her eye once more, but she wouldn’t even look at me now, her eyes skirting anywhere but, a bad sign of her changing opinion, of that I was certain.
“Good, good,” he nodded. “And what do you say, Emma? They make a great couple, don’t they?”
Under the watchful gaze of my stepfather, Emma finally looked to me and raised her glass to her cherry red lips. As she tilted it to take a sip, she held my eyes hostage, her gaze steady and assessing. I couldn’t breathe for fear of what she would say, of the potential disdain I would hear in her voice...
And then she blinked, her focus turning to my stepfather, a small smile touching her lips as she spoke, “Aye, they most definitely do darling.”
Her words and the silky smooth tone in which she uttered them sent a chill running through me.
Did she think me a whore now? A girl that would do anything for an easy life? Had she lost all respect for me? And could I really blame her if she had?
