Edge’s jaw ticks. “It might mean war, but not yet. By taking down Wraith’s group of pussies we opened the door for something worse, someone worse, to step in. Should have filled the gap, but it’s not like we have a second chapter.”
“A second chapter,” I mouth, turning the thought over in my head. “Did you mention that in church?”
“Hell no. We have enough to worry about as is.”
“But the Riders have so many members now. Really…”
“Don’t wanna go there, sweetheart, not at the moment and it ain’t my call and in case you didn’t notice, yourdaddy and I aren’t exactly seeing eye to fucking eye. Mostly because he blackened mine to the point where it’s swelled shut. Mostly because he’s a life size, first class asshole.”
“Stop it,” I grind out. “I did notice. Obviously.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from retorting out something that neither of us needs at the moment. I couldn’t hear the hurt in his tone, but of course, I sensed it, and the hair on the backs of my arms stands on end.
“Wraith rode out with Tracker. The guy’s probably had even less sleep than I have, but seeing as he’s half our age and used to know the territory and still has friends in the lowest of places, he’ll probably come back with some answers.”
“So you’re not riding out?”
“Not yet. Not until we know what and who this threat is.”
I let out a hard breath, one I didn’t realize I’d had jammed up in my lungs. They squeeze and contract like an angry rubber band stretched too far, relieved to be back in its proper shape.
“And us? Edge? What about us?”
His head snaps up and his hand tightens around the bottle of whiskey. I hate that he’s clutching it like a lifeline, and not me. I want to be what keeps him afloat. I want to fix the parts of him that are hurting the parts that I can’t see. I want inside his soul, but it feels like he’s slamming the door on my face. I watch him shut down, the subtleties again, that no one else would notice. The tremble in his little finger as it bites around the glass bottle. The downturn of his lips. The way his other hand balls into a fist on the table.
“I should have been there to protect you.”
Even though his face is turned down, I get the gist of that, because it’s exactly what I expected him to say.
“And if you had been? What then? You were right when you said you were riding after my father, who is acting like a child. No one knew this was coming. Either they have some insider intel that alerted them to the fact that you were all gone, or they just had impeccable timing. Or shit timing, if it was you and my dad they wanted to take down.”
Edge’s head snaps to me and his skewers me with a hard glare. “What did you say? We got a rat?”
I’m not afraid of him. “I didn’t say a rat. I said insider intel. It could have been anyone from the town who saw a bike go by a window. Maybe they wanted to make some extra cash. I don’t know. Or like I said, maybe they had terrible timing. The Canteen has been the club’s bar for years. It’s not exactly a secret. Seems like a good place to hit up if they wanted a shot at taking down some people they didn’t like.”
Edge lets out a growl that I feel straight to the bottom of my stomach. His palm slaps the table, and the entire piece of furniture jumps between us.
“If you had just stayed here like you were supposed to, you wouldn’t have been there. You’re mine now, Harley. You belong to me. You can’t disobey me every time you fucking choose, because this is what happens.”
Too far.That’s way too fucking far for me to handle. I know how our world works, but the ownership thing is over the line. I want to tell him that I’m not his property, but I know it’s fear behind his anger, and not some macho sense of ownership.
“I know you feel bad about what happened, but it’s not your fault. And you never told me to stay here while you were gone, I went out with my sisters to our bar. It should have been the safest place to go.”
“The club’s bar isn’t your bar.”
I snort at that. “Oh really? To the same bar that I’ve been picking my dad up at since I was sixteen? I’m twenty-one for fuck’s sake. I already have my dad treating me like a child, I don’t need you starting too. I thought I was coming back to Helena to start my new life, not have it implode and everything turn to shit.”
He tenses, drawn tight like a wire about to snap, a snare that I didn’t see and walked right into. I feel that noose tightening around me as Edge slowly draws back. I can taste the rage, bitter, metallic, potent, rolling off him in hot, suffocating waves. A vein throbs at his temple, which I’ve only ever seen once before in my life. His jaw clenches so tight that I imagine he’s doing some real damage to his teeth, grinding them down like that.
“Everything has gone to shit, hasn’t it?” he laughs, and I know the sound is completely mirthless, judging from the terrifying shadow gripping his face like a shroud. “All because of us. All of it. People got hurt because of us.Yougot hurt.”
I should know better, but fear grips me hard, closing its cold, skeletal hands around my heart. “And so what? You’re saying that we shouldn’t have happened? That we should just ignore what we feel and get on with it? You’re a lot of things, Edge, but I never thought you were a coward.”
Edge explodes from the table, knocking his chair back. I don’t hear the clatter, but the vibrations of it falling,bouncing, wood on wood, rip up my feet and legs. He turns on me like a feral animal, his good eye blazing, teeth bared.
“I’m no fucking coward! I took vows and I’m not gonna betray them, so by the time I’m done with my shower, you better be gone. It’s the best thing for everyone’s fucking sake. Go back home.”
He storms from the room, leaving only smoky, dark, leather scented anger in his wake and the raw despair that he’d never show a soul, but I know is ripping him apart. I know, because it’s tearing at me too. Heartbreak. It feels worse than any physical injury a person could ever endure. Any sickness. Any ailment. It comes on softly creeping feet to tear at your insides until you’re a bloody, quivering mass, a plague that you can’t combat.
My lips part, but no sound escapes. At least in this, I’m like every other person in the world.
