16
VIKTOR
Tati’s coming apart at the seams every second it takes to get her home. She sits in the passenger’s side of the car, tears rolling down her cheeks and holding clenched fists in her lap. She won’t talk. Shecan’ttalk. She’s breaking down.
The moment I park the car, she’s out and rushing up the stairs to the house. My obligation to her ends here. I don’t have to follow her.
But she’s coming apart. I can’t leave her now.
I get out of the car and follow her. She leaves the door half open and when I walk through it, into the foyer, I hear her sobs echoing through the house from upstairs. “Tatiana?” I call after her.
“Go away!” The desperate sound of her voice spouts the command as if she’s on the edge of a scream. It’s punctuated by the slamming of a door.
I follow, moving quickly as my heart pounds in my chest. She shouldn’t be alone. She can’t be alone. I can’t leave her this way.
I go to open her bedroom door but it’s locked. “Open the door, Tatiana.”
I hear her crying on the other side and my heart feels like it’s going to burst. I pound on the door. “Tati! Open this door!”
“Leave me alone!” she screams.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not with you like this. Open the door or I’m breaking it down.”
More crying, but no response otherwise.
“Tatiana!” She’d better open this fucking door. I’m already looking around at it, judging how sturdy it is. I could kick it down easily?—
I hear the lock disengage and the door swings open. She’s standing before me, her face wet with tears and her fists balled up at her sides.
“What the fuck do you want from me?” she cries. “Why can’t you just leave me alone, Viktor? Why can’t you just fucking leave?”
She attacks me, driving her fists into my chest, hitting me in the face. “You’re just like the rest of them! You’re a fucking monster like all of them!”
I let her go on pummeling me, her tiny hands like little bee stings as they connect with my face, my chest, scratching at me… Finally, I grab her by the wrists and pin her hands behind her back.
“That’s enough,” I say to her. She looks up at me, tears still falling, her chest heaving against me.
“It hurts so much, Viktor,” she weeps. Her big, brown eyes search mine. “Please make it better.”
The soft, begging tone strikes something inside me like a bell. Her breath brushes my face as I lean into her.
“You… you said you could be my father figure if I wanted it. I need you to be that for me.” Her damp cheeks flush, watery brown eyes beckon me. “Make it better, Daddy,” she whispers. “Please.”
“Where does it hurt you?”
“Everywhere.”
She presses herself against me and stands up on her toes to kiss me. Her lips are warm, sweet, and inviting as she sucks my bottom lip gently. I respond, releasing her arms and wrapping mine around her waist to hold her to me as we kiss.
Drowning… I’m drowning. Just like that, the control is lost. She has but to ask and I fall under her spell.
We both move into the bedroom as her hands push against my chest, up my shoulders and under my jacket to get it off. I help her, taking off my jacket and tossing it aside. “Take off your clothes,” I tell her, “and get on the bed.”
She steps back from me and unzips her dress, her eyes on mine. The little black dress she chose, long sleeved, high collar, hem two inches below the knee. With the exception of her bright pink curls, which at the moment are all tied up into a bun, she’s the very picture of the good little girl that her father wants her to be.
The dress melts off her shoulders and falls to the floor. She’s wearing nothing now except her shoes. Still no underwear after all this time.
“You poor, neglected thing,” I say as I start taking off my shirt. “It’s criminal how he treats you.”
