Jittery and edgy, I opt for a warm shower to relax me, and then I curl up in front of the television. After hopping channels for an hour, I give up and go to bed.
Dante doesn’t come home. He sends a text message to let me know he’ll be working through the night and that I shouldn’t wait up.
I believe him.
If he says he’s working, that’s what he’s doing.
But the devil on my shoulder keeps on whispering whatifs in my ear. I can’t even bring myself to reply to Dante’s message, too scared that I’ll say something I may regret later.
Not a few seconds pass before my phone lights up on the nightstand. I ignore it, deciding not to read Dante’s messages because they only leave me more agitated. Two more beats, and my phone starts vibrating.
I reach for the phone in the dark. Dante’s name flashes over the screen.
I’m hesitant to answer, but he’ll worry if I don’t take his call.
Clearing my throat to dislodge the lump that has settled there, I swipe the button. “Hey.”
His deep voice comes over the line. “Did I wake you?”
I prick up my ears, listening for an intonation of guilt, but there’s only concern. “I’m in bed, but I was still awake.”
“I couldn’t call earlier.”
“That’s all right.”
My heart screams that it’s not all right, but I don’t want to be that wife, the one who checks his every move and demands explanations for each second of his absence because I’d hate it if he did the same to me.
“You didn’t reply to my text message,” he says.
“I didn’t think it was necessary.”
“It’s always necessary.”
I keep my voice upbeat. “Okay.”
“Tatiana.”
If I’m smiling, it’s because I hope he can hear it. “What?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I pull my legs up to my chest. “Jazz left today. The house feels empty.”
“She can visit.”
“I know.”
“Call me if you need anything.”
“Does that mean you’re in the city?”
He hesitates for no more than a beat, but it doesn’t skip my attention.
“Yes,” he says as if he didn’t want to admit that.
He’s in the city but he can’t come home? The hurt that won’t let up becomes a dull, pulsing ache that, with every beat of my heart, falls like a hammer in my chest.
“Are you safe?” I ask after a moment.
