“It’s strange. Seeing the scars surprised me, but it doesn’t really shock me. It’s as if I subconsciously knew they were there, that they’re a part of me.” Her expression becomes thoughtful. “Deep inside, I don’t really want to know how they got there. Not yet.”
I don’t have an answer to that. All I can do is wrap my arms around her and pull her close.
“Thanks for saying what you did.” She hugs me back, squeezing my waist. “That means a lot to me.” Her jade green eyes are full of trust as she bares her heart to me. “I love you, Dante.”
And once more, I can only reciprocate with silence.
Chapter
Fifteen
Tatiana
* * *
After lunch, I spend the afternoon with Noah and Jazz by the pool. The day is warm and sunny, so I changed into a bikini. Noah can swim, but I sit on the steps in the shallow end to keep an eye on him while he plays with a plastic boat.
Not being a big fan of water, Jazz sits on the side with her feet dangling over the edge. She’s changed into a flattering red one-piece. A huge sunhat and oversized sunglasses obscure her face.
I invited Emily to join us, but she said she wanted to make a roast for dinner. Dante is discussing business in his study with a dark-haired man he introduced to me as Reino. He said he wouldn’t work today, and I’m disappointed that he’s not spending time with us, but I know how demanding his business is. When you’re running several illegal operations, unexpected emergencies are the norm rather than the exception.
I wasn’t surprised when he told me he’s managing Teszner Agglomerate. It makes sense that I’d give him my shares. I’ve never been interested in the business, at least not in that business. What did surprise me was that my brother hasn’t called. We’ve never been close, but you’d expect your only sibling to enquire how you were doing when you’ve disappeared for five days, especially in our world where kidnappings are at the order of the day.
Dante only told me Leander was incapacitated and that my brother isn’t to be trusted. They’re enemies now, which means I can’t contact him under any circumstances. I don’t miss him, but I do miss my mom. The grief isn’t raw and new. Instead, it’s persistent, like a constant ache.
Noah turns the boat into a submarine and watches it sink to the bottom of the pool. When I retrieve the toy and give it back to him, I sense Jazz’s gaze on me. I can’t see her eyes behind her sunglasses, but her concern is palpable.
“This is weird, right?” I say with a bright smile.
“You don’t have to make me feel comfortable. I’m supposed to do that for you.”
I lean back on my arms and straighten one leg, splashing water with my toes. “Is it the scars?” I’ve noticed the look on her face when I took off the cover-up I wore over my bikini before she had time to school her features. “You haven’t seen them.”
“You never wore clothes that revealed them before, not in front of other people.”
Shrugging, I grin. “I guess I forgot about them, excuse the pun.”
She makes a face. “That’s not funny.”
“Sorry.” I sigh. “I just don’t want to take anything too seriously right now.”
“You’re right.” She looks at where Noah is docking his boat on the other side of the pool. “You should take things easy.”
“They’re old.” I study her from under my lashes. “The scars.”
She nods, training her gaze on a point in the distance. “Older than Noah.”
“So you knew about them?”
“Uh-huh.”
I’m sure Dante briefed Jazz, Emily, and his men about what Dr. Chad had said. No one has brought up a word about my past since I returned home minus four years of my memory.
She removes the sunglasses and gives me an uncertain look. “Are you asking me what happened?”
“I’m not ready to hear that yet.”
I don’t know why, but my intuition is warning me not to go there, and I’ve decided to listen to that voice deep inside me for now. I don’t want to start digging into a past my mind has suppressed out of self-preservation. Sabotaging myself sounds like a very bad idea. I want to wait until I’ve done a few sessions with Dr. Chad to work on controlling my anxiety. I’m barely keeping my panic at bay. What happened to me is bad, I know that with a deep-seated certainty, but it will be so much worse if I fail Noah now. My absence traumatized him, and it breaks my heart. He woke up screaming from a nightmare last night. When Dante and I went to console him, he made me promise that I wouldn’t leave them again.
