The smile he offers me is meant to be intimate, but for some reason, it seems stilted.
“Shower?” He offers me a hand. “Jasper and Noah should be back soon.”
I let him pull me to my feet, puzzled by his sudden emotional withdrawal after what we’ve just shared.
He picks me up and carries me upstairs. In the shower, he washes my body and shampoos my hair before cleaning himself.
We dry ourselves off in silence. I sneak a look at him as I pull on a fluffy bathrobe. He seems caught up in his thoughts, so I don’t raise the subject. I don’t want to make a big deal out of nothing. Maybe I’m just being overly needy and sensitive. The last thing I want is to become a nagging wife. But I can’t shake the feeling that something is amiss, that Dante and I aren’t the couple I remember.
Chapter
Fourteen
Dante
* * *
A better man wouldn’t have let things go as far as they did. Ever since Tatiana has learned why her parents are dead, she’s hated me. Our sex turned from gentle to sadistic. She wouldn’t let me touch her in any way that reminded her of the past. Doing so now, when she can’t remember that she didn’t want me to go back to the way I used to love her body, is a low move.
But for all my famed willpower, I couldn’t stop her.
I missed what we’d shared in those early days too much. After the first time I took her, her pleasure quickly became my drug. Having her once was never enough. I always needed more. I live by a simple motto—all or nothing. And with Tatiana, nothing was never an option. It had to be all.
Everything.
Forever.
I always knew she’d destroy me if I gave her the chance. Maybe that’s why I held back, why I never said the words she wanted to hear. Besides, I’m not a man who believes in love. I believe in cold, hard facts, and the cold, hard truth is that Tatiana has always belonged to me. The how doesn’t matter. It makes no difference if she’s mine with hate and sadistic pleasure or in submitting to me with affection.
At least that’s what I tell myself.
Still, as I watch her dry her hair in the bathroom after our shower, guilt slithers into my conscience.
I warned her. I took advantage of her and the situation. Yet how can I tell her that she hates me when her mind is already in a fragile place? How can I come clean when the ugliness of our history will only set her back more?
Fuck.
For all I know, it’s that same traumatic history that sparked her memory loss. I want her to heal more than anything. Although, when she does… Jesus. How will she look at me after what I just did in my study? I can only hope she would’ve softened up to me by then.
And if she doesn’t remember…
I brush my wet hair back from my face.
Then Lee will never be avenged. Everything I’ve fought so hard for will be lost, and Leander will win.
I can’t let that happen. But I also don’t want to go back to how things were between us before Tatiana lost her memory. I’m caught between a rock and a hard place.
I guess I just have to keep my eye on the ball. I have to locate the necklace. If Leander finds it before I do, it’s over. He’ll sell the diamonds and buy himself an army and weapons. I could always snuff him out now, but where’s the justice in that? Death is too easy for him. He needs to suffer. He needs to remember why he’s slowly rotting away, disintegrating into an inconsequential memory.
“Dante?”
I look up and catch Tatiana’s haunting green eyes in the reflection of the mirror.
She lets her gaze travel over me, stopping at the towel that’s wrapped around my waist. “The ink… it’s new.”
My voice is hoarse from self-restraint. It takes every ounce of willpower I possess not to reach for her. “Yes.”
“I like it.”
