I swallow hard, fighting to contain my emotions.
“From the first time I saw you, I knew I was going to make you mine. Do you remember that day in the rain, the first day I was in charge of your security?”
“How can I forget?” I ask through numb lips.
“That’s the day I knew. I waited a few months, and then I approached your father.”
“You approached him?”
“I asked him for a contract.”
“A marriage contract,” I whisper, battling to get my mind around the information.
“Yes, a marriage contract. Your father told me you were destined for someone more worthy of you, so I pledged to prove myself to him. I said I’d bring him something of great value, and he said if I managed to impress him, he’d agree.”
Oh, my God. “Only, he didn’t.”
Hatred turns his eyes hard and cold. “He was impressed, all right. But he wasn’t going to give his only daughter to a man with no power or territory. He told me he’d already signed a contract with Stein, which would actually add value when it strengthened his own power and wealth. As for me, he called me an idiot and decided to make an example of me.”
“So he had Leander kill Lee and took the necklace.”
Dante’s face hardens. “To teach me my place. He thought he’d break me and have a good laugh about it with your future fiancé.”
Shock courses through me. “That’s why you chased me so hard. You wanted to get your own back.”
“No, Tatiana.” He cups my jaw, his hold a little too tight yet perfectly right. “I chased you so hard because I wanted you. It’s always been you, darling.”
I blink. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He drops his hand, releasing me. “In the beginning, I couldn’t. If you’d known I was using you for information, you would’ve told me to take a hike. I was going to explain when it was all over, when your father was dead. If you’d waited for me on that night, if you hadn’t gone to your father and told him you were pregnant, your mother would’ve been alive, and I would’ve told you everything. You and Noah would’ve been safe.”
The pain of old twists me up inside. “Are you blaming me?”
“Blaming you?” He stabs his fingers through his hair. “There’s only one person who can be blamed for everything that’s happened, and that’s me.”
He’s wrong. I too carry my share of the blame. My actions had consequences, and I’ve always believed in owning up to my actions.
His voice is level, but his torment is clear in his amber gaze. “I knew there was a good chance that you’d never forgive me, but I thought I had time. I thought I’d have a lifetime to make it up to you. Only, your mother had gotten into the car when she wasn’t supposed to go with your father, and when I got to the condo, you were gone.”
“Oh, Dante.” I’m shaking inside, shivering as I recall that tragic night. “Why? Why did you have to deceive me?”
“There was no other way. No matter what kind of man your father was, you wouldn’t betray him knowingly, that’s not who you were or are, and I never would’ve allowed you to carry that guilt. The guilt was supposed to be mine. Only mine.”
I bite back tears. “You had so many opportunities to come clean after you tracked me down in Denver. Why didn’t you tell me the truth then?”
“I tried, many times, but you didn’t want to hear it.”
That’s true. I remember him trying to tell me on several occasions, but I wasn’t ready to listen. I can still see him standing in front of me in the house where I was working, trying to make me understand that I was more than the spoils of war, so much more than I ever could’ve guessed.
You’re not really interested in what I’m saying. No matter what I tell you, you’ll twist it into what you want to believe. When you’re truly ready to listen, we can talk about it again.
And my reply to that? Hell will freeze over before I listen to you.
My mind goes back to that day in the basement when he returned from a trip with the chilling evidence of the men he’d killed for me—a gold ring and tooth. I asked him why he was so dead set on keeping me. He told me that he’d been clear about his intention when he’d taken my virginity, and I shot back that I hadn’t known he’d played me. He said he’d done it for a good reason, for Lee but also for me. And I refused to believe him when he declared he’d done it to keep me.
“Bullshit,” I said. “I don’t believe you.”
“Believe me or not, there was no other way.”
