She gave Sam a quick smile and then left the little stage. She leaned against the wall next to Adriana and zoned out while Sam talked. She knew it all anyway. Instead, she wondered what had driven Marina to work in a place that took so much of her soul.Ambition was one thing, but that lack of substance and control… It just didn’t seem like it would have been the right choice.
Adriana tapped her shoulder, startling her out of her meandering thoughts. “I’ve got some experience with this, and I might be able to answer some questions, if you want the help.”
“You have no idea how much I don’t want to go back up there. If you want to take my place, I’d be eternally grateful.” River glanced over the crowd again, wondering if Black had other people there to infiltrate. It wouldn’t be surprising, and it wasn’t like River knew everyone from the neighborhood. But telling the crowd that was a possibility would create trust issues and maybe dissention, and that was the last thing they needed. So, let the weasels weasel. It wouldn’t change how pissed off people were.
Adriana jumped on stage when Sam looked over and motioned to River. “Hope you don’t mind, but I’ve dealt with other gentrification and redevelopment stuff before, so I might have some knowledge that River doesn’t at this point.”
Questions came fast, and Sam and Adriana managed to field most of them, making sure they were written down for later clarification.
Chris, the owner of the Sweet Moon Bakery, raised his hand and then turned toward her. “River, what areyougoing to do? Have you decided?”
She knew that Chris was one of the business owners who wanted to sell and move on. Regeneration would likely mean he wouldn’t get anything out of the Pinnacle deal until everything went sideways in the future.
“I’m not selling.” River’s voice carried through the quiet room. “I’m not taking her investment money because I don’t need it. My building and my business are fine as they are.” She made her way slowly to the stage when she saw people at the back craning to see her. “You’ve been watching Adriana’s great reporting. You know what Black Pinnacle is capable of, and youknow what they’ve gotten away with. Will they try that kind of thing again now that they’re in the limelight?” River shrugged. “I don’t know. After meeting Sheila Black today, I can tell you I don’t think there’s much that would stop her. And she wants this area before the Obama Center goes up so she can get it at a steal. She’s saying she’ll invest in our community right now, and for some of you, that would be huge. You could really get up and running and make a go of it in a way you haven’t been able to before. Derelict buildings could be renovated and used for good.” She sighed and rubbed at her temples. “We could tell her to go to hell and not sell her a damn thing. She might back off for a while until the Feds go away. Then she’ll come back and double down. Maybe we have a chance to think of a defense in the meantime.” River shook her head and looked out over the crowd, meeting people’s eyes.So much fear and uncertainty.“Will I, personally, be selling? No.”
“There’s no easy answer.” Adriana put her hand on River’s shoulder. “It’s a huge decision, and you can’t make it lightly.” She held up the file Marina had given them. “I think everyone should read this, but especially the businesses and people they’ve singled out. It will be up to them to decide if the future cost is worth the immediate cash.”
“Let’s meet again next week. Give everyone time to get together and talk. Remember this, though.” River focused her energy and sent it out over the crowd. “Stay respectful. Discuss, don’t blame or judge. This isn’t a black and white issue, and if we divide among ourselves, then Black Pinnacle has already won. Stay civil with each other.”
There were plenty of nods of agreement, and the tension in the room softened several degrees, making it a little easier for River to breathe.
Sam read off the names of the businesses and people who should stay behind, many of whom were in the crowd. The restof the group emptied out, and River sighed heavily. “What a mess,” she murmured, mostly to herself.
Billy came over and slung his arm around her. “Come on. Let’s go get something sickly sweet along with a bitter cup of coffee.”
She let him lead her off the stage and out into the night. Sam and Adriana could handle the rest of the stuff. They ended up at Tasa, eating flan paired with chicory coffee.
Estelle wasn’t there, for which River was grateful. She didn’t have it in her to talk about the mess any more tonight.
“I haven’t seen you this way in a long time,” Billy said, slurping in a bite of flan. “Talk to me.”
She breathed in the hit of chicory and set the cup back down. “It’s…I don’t know. I don’t know what’s eating at me.”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re the most self-aware person I’ve ever met. Come on. Dig.”
She ate for a moment, contemplating. “It’s Marina.”
“Of course it is.” He laughed. “Are you seriously pining after the bad girl?”
“She’s not a bad girl. That’s the thing. When she lets her guard down, she’s kind, and funny, and witty. She’s got this light inside her. But then she flips a switch and it’s gone, buried under this…” she tried to picture it and put it into words, “this concrete bunker. Like a bomb shelter. And when I’m with her when she’s open, I feel like I’ve been dropped at her feet for a reason.”
“And when she’s in her bunker?” Billy asked, his expression serious for once.
“Then it’s like I’ve had the air punched out of me. It physically hurts, and that makes no sense at all. None.”
He ate his flan, frowning and looking thoughtful. “Have you gone back to the cards? Have you asked for some guidance?”
He wasn’t being facetious. Billy wasn’t religious, but he also believed there were things out there that couldn’t be explained. He believed the Universe was a cosmic conductor of some sort.
“I haven’t, actually.” That’s what was missing. She’d gotten so wrapped up in the reality of things, in the politics and money and underhandedness, that she’d forgotten to ground herself in her safe space. “Thanks.”
He yawned loudly. “You’re welcome, my sage sounder of secrets.”
She yawned too. “Do better.” She grabbed the check, paid, and followed him out. Once she was home, she’d do some of her meditation work to find her way back to her center. She’d sworn never to let someone take that from her again, and she’d very nearly slipped into old patterns.
Once she was home, and no ghosts were waiting in her yard like fangirls, she went in and started lighting candles. She burned some of her favorite sandalwood and sat cross-legged on the floor of the second bedroom. Shamus curled up in her lap, his head raised to watch as she shuffled the tarot deck. What am I doing? She thought, but that wasn’t going to be specific enough.What path am I on, and where should I go next? What do I need to be aware of when it comes to Marina?
The thoughts ended there, and she let it be. She laid out the first three cards in the middle, then one to the left and right of the three, then four more in each quadrant and one at the top and bottom, until she had a circle. She looked closely, seeing the patterns, the story that came out as she moved from present to past to future.
