I watch Jase nudge Kija, and they both exit down the aisle. I know they’re going to come backstage and wait, like theyalways do whenever they travel with us.
They’ve come out a lot over the last year on this tour, meeting up with us in cities all over the world for a few days here and there. Kija and I have been lucky to be able to sneak around to beautiful places together, lit up by streetlamps and the moon. The four of us—me and Kija and Jase and Nikko—have even managed some amazing discreet double dates in quiet hideaways.
There are fans crying in the front row as they listen to Chita talk about what this tour has meant to us, coming back together after a break with some of us pursuing our own interests—Nikko’s solo album, Lalo producing albums for other groups, Tang being featured on a bunch of hit songs, including with American and European artists, and Ryo becoming somewhat of an online sensation with his kitchen adventures—but we’re all here now, together.
It’s exactly where I want to be, too.
I can honestly say that I have never been happier.
I got to spend the downtime falling in love and being in love. Figuring out who Yung-Sun is as part of a couple. How to have balance between my idol life and the limited time I have to myself.
And now I’m onstage again with my brothers, and the people I care about most are out there in the crowd.
And this ring on my finger reminds me no matter where I go or what happens, I have someone who is by my side, in this for life. I have a new kind of confidence in myself and our relationship, with this tangible reminder of my partner, the love of my life.
Even worn on my right hand, the gold band has drawn attention—a new piece that I put on one day and haven’t taken off, of course VOX noticed. But I told them the truth in a way, that the ring was my mom’s and had been remade for me. I am much closer to Soohee than my own mother,and I know how it delights her to see me wearing it and talking about it so easily.
The fans loved the story, but Yang Bitgaram had a little more to say when he had pulled Kija and I into his office only a week after our top secret commitment ceremony and told us we were not as sly as we thought we were. Neither one of us knows how he found out, but at least he essentially promised to turn a blind eye and pretend nothing is going on, so long as we continue to keep things to ourselves.
I can only think of one thing left in my life that I genuinely desire, and I have faith that it will happen one day, too. For now, I will continue to dream about the future I see in my mind—family trips to Jeju, sunsets on the beach with our child in Kija’s arms.
“We love you, Los Angeles!” Nikko shouts, and the crowd goes crazy, bringing me fully back into the moment.
“Saranghae!” The rest of us echo, all bowing deeply to VOX screaming their devotion back to us.
I have always liked the way we exit the stage, walking casually, waving as we go, rather than the hurried jog of so many other acts we’ve seen. How could we not want to enjoy every moment we get to spend with our fans? Especially when we get to see them like this so rarely. I always want to bask in the glow a little bit longer.
Nikko skips up and takes my hand, swinging our arms in between the two of us, causing even more shrieking from a group pressed right up against the barricade as we disappear behind the stage set.
As soon as I know we’re out of view, I do start running, looking around for where Kija will be waiting.
I think about all the fantasies I used to have of coming off stage and finding him waiting for me.
And now he is—standing near the dressing room door, talking to Jase, but he stops as soon as he sees me.
He smirks, because he knows what I’m thinking, alreadyanticipating the way I’m about to jump into his arms.
When I do, he catches me easily, those hands that I love and trust so much under my thighs to hold me up, hold me close, as I wrap myself around him.
“You were incredible, sachi. You looked so good. Can’t wait to get you out of here,” he says, just before he kisses me, slow and dirty.
I can’t help but moan, not caring if anyone hears me. I want him the way I have always wanted him, immediately and all to myself. I know I need to go with the other members for our post-show huddle, but my mind is already very much behind closed doors with Kija.
Someone whistles—maybe Ryo—and someone else tells us to behave—probably Chita—and I reluctantly pull away. Kija sets me down with a sweet kiss to my cheek, lips pressed to the beauty mark there, drawn like a magnet.
“Go,” he tells me with a quick smack on my ass. “I’ll see you later.”
??
I still can’t quite believe it—the way everything I hoped for and dreamed about for years has fallen exactly into place.
As I look at Kija standing out on the balcony of our hotel suite, silhouetted against the bright lights of the Los Angeles skyline, I am so grateful that this is how my story goes.
Better than any of the romance books I enjoy.
Sometimes I read passages aloud to him, curled up on the couch with him making terrible guesses about what happens next, or while we’re in bed, his mouth on me as he teases, telling me I have to hold out for one more page, or that I can’t come until the character does.
I look forward to being back in Seoul soon,where we can get back to those silly kinds of things that makeuswho we are together.
