“I’m glad,” I tell him. I am, but I worry about him even as I have to push down my own desires to have the same sort of experiences. “Sounds like a date right out of a drama.”
Nikko smiles. “Yeah, it kind of was. I feel like I just got him for real, like we are actually starting something together here in Seoul, so every moment just seems big.”
“He literally quit his entire life to be with you,” I remind him. “That’s a pretty bold move. Real romantic comedy vibes. Someone should write a book about it. I’d read it.”
“You’re living it with me. You’re the sidekick that everyone likes better than the main character,” Nikko says, nudging me with his elbow.
I scoff. “Yes, everyonewouldlike me more, but I will never be the sidekick. I radiate main character energy.”
“I can’t even argue with you there.” Nikko repositions himself a bit to give me more room to sprawl across him.
I appreciate that Nikko has always let me use him as my own personal playground, never hesitating when I wanted to hang on and off and all over him as we talk. I just feel better when I’m in contact with someone, and as my best friend, it seems like it’s only fair that he gives me access to what I need. We’re practically the same size, but somehow I feel a little smaller when I’m allowed to twist myself around him. It makes me feel grounded, safe even, more so than I have with probably anyone else.
Nikko starts slipping his fingers through my hair, and I practically melt with the instant relaxation that makes my wholebody loose. I never realize how tense I am until I really let go. “Have you been reading all day?”
“No.” I close my eyes and fight the urge to purr. “I talked to my parents earlier for a little bit.”
“Oh, that’s good. How are they?”
“Fine, I guess. It’s so hard to get them to say much. I know they don’t understand anything about my life.” I say quietly, then whisper, ”They said they’re grateful for the money I sent home.”
Nikko’s hand drops from my hair to my shoulder and gives me a squeeze. He’s the only one I ever talk to about my family, because I know he understands. We’re so alike in so many ways and so different in so many others, but he’s my brother in the way I trust him with my real life. He knows me better than anyone—all my secrets and the things I try so hard to hide. From standing beside me when I finally came out to the group a couple of years ago to literally holding me up when I got the call that my grandfather was gone right before we had to perform, I don’t know what I’d do without him.
“Such a good son.” He pinches my cheek to lighten the moment and I’m thankful for that, too. “My mom got all over my case last week when I mentioned Jase had moved to Seoul. She was upset I’d waited so long to tell her how serious things had gotten. But it just didn’t seem right before that, you know? I was scared I was going to mess things up, and then I did, and I didn’t know how to fix it. So I didn’t say anything. But she’s happy for me. For us. Already asking when I’m going to bring him home to meet them.”
“They’ll love him,” I promise, because they will. I’ve met Nikko’s parents enough times to know how they are, and Jase is annoyingly likeable, so it will be fine. I can’t really imagine taking anyone to meet my parents or grandma. My sister, maybe, if she still lived in South Korea, but introducing a boyfriend to the rest of my relatives is not something I see going well.
He nods. “Probably.”
“So did you two work everything out? Make a plan for the next chapter of your epic love story?” I ask, teasing.
“I keep thinking that if the company finally lets us do those apartments they keep dangling over our heads, maybe we could have some kind of arrangement with those.” He sounds grumbly and I get it. We’ve been hoping our steady successes would mean better housing situations, but so far it’s all been promises and no follow-through. “For now, though, it sounds like he’s planning on staying with Kija-hyung. And we’ll figure it out eventually.”
I instantly perk up at the mention of his name, practically climbing over Nikko to sit up and get even closer. “He’s just moving in with Kija-hyung? We…youcould totally go visit Jase, while he’s there. Staying with him. That’s convenient. For them, I mean, being best friends and all.”
“You’re so obvious, I swear.” Nikko groans under my weight and tries to wrangle himself out of my hold.
“What?” I shift the way I’m draped across him, leaning more heavily. “What do you mean?”
Nikko laughs as he pushes me off him. “Can you just admit you’re obsessed with him? You’re really not as sneaky as you think you are.”
I roll my eyes as I rearrange myself yet again. I resent the insinuation that this situation could be compared to our sasaengs and their stalkerish level of investment in our lives. “I’m notobsessedwith Kija,” I argue. “I just want him to spit in my mouth, in a romantic way.”
Nikko blinks at me for a moment. “Is… is there a romantic way to do that?”
He looks so sincere as he asks. I wonder if everything that he and Jase do is sweet. Heart eyes gazing and soft touches all the time, probably. I also wonder if that gets boring. “Of course. Anything can be romantic with the right person.”
“I guess.” He doesn’t sound convinced. “I’d let Jase do a lot of things to me, but I think I’d draw the line at spitting.”
“What if you don’t have lube?” I ask, trying to be casual. “I’ve read enough books to know people are always spitting on things when they don’t have lube.”
“What?” he sputters, but then his expression changes as he seems to think about it. “I guess there probably isn’t a lot of lube available in those dystopian hellscapes you like to read about, huh?”
“Not so much,” I agree, finally settling next to him to just sit. “So you and Jase are good.”
Nikko is immediately worried, like I’m about to drop some sort of bomb on him. “Yes? Why? What did you hear?”
“Calm down. I was just saying, your relationship is good, so like, Jase is busy with you. And that means Kija-hyung is alone because his best friend has other things going on. So it would be a shame if he were, you know, lonely or something.” I twist a lock of hair around my finger, as though my thoughts are tumbling out freely as they occur to me.
