“What the hell?”
“Someone took pictures of me and Sun. Chaeji has them,” I sputter, pressing a palm to my chest like that might stop the spastic beating of my heart. I’m not the guy who panics. But I am right now.
“Wait, what?” He’s definitely more alert after hearing that. “What happened?”
“We went out last night, and I guess someone was waiting when I brought him back.” I get out of bed, kicking at my nightstand out of frustration. “It’s obviously him and a man in the pictures. Anyone at Task Force could look at them and figure out it’s me. This is bad for me, but it will fucking ruin him. And the group.”
There’s rustling on the other end of the line as I pace back and forth across my bedroom. I assume I was loud enough that Nikko heard what was going on.
“What do you mean? You’ve seen the pictures?” Jase asks.
“I have them on my phone. Chaeji sent them. She wants to meet tonight.” I’m so angry I’m practically seeing red. “‘She’sblackmailing me, Jase.”
“Yeah, that’s… that’s a thing that’s happening. Fuck.” More noise, like he’s getting out of bed. “Does Sun know about the photos?”
I can’t stand the thought of it—and what this might do to him. It’s worse than anything he’s ever doomscrolled, and I can’t have that. “No. I don’t want him to know if I can help it. Tell Nikko not to tell him.”
“Yeah, of course.” He makes a grumbling sound. “I hate that I don’t have anything good to say, because I have no idea what to tell you. But I’m here, and I’ll do whatever you need me to. I’ve got your back. You know that, right?”
“Thank you,” I mumble, my voice shakier than I thought it would be. “I’ll… I’ll call you back in a little bit. I need to think.”
“Sure. I’m up. I’ll be waiting,” Jase assures me as I end the call.
I toss my phone on the bed and go to brush my teeth, willing myself to try to calm down. I’m not going to be able to make any sort of rational decisions if I’m freaking out. Jase is on my side—just like I knew he would be—and that’s a start. We’ve figured some shit out together before, and we’ll do it again.
I won’t let this wreck everything Sun has worked for.
And I can’t lose what I just found with him.
SIXTEEN
KIJA
Ihave twenty-six texts and five missed calls from Sun.
I haven’t spoken to him all day.
I know he’s figured out something is going on.
The messages from the morning were typical and sweet. By the afternoon, he was asking if my day was busy—if everything was okay. Then the phone calls started. The most recent texts are laced with concern, both for me and that perhaps he had done something to make me unhappy.
I hate that I’m making him feel this way, but I can’t talk to him yet.
Not when I’m this angry, more furious than I think I have ever been.
Becausehow dareshe.
I can’t let him know about what’s happening. I will find a way to take care of it, hopefully without him ever knowing about any of it.
I feel so unworthy of him right now, unable to protect him from a threat he should never have to face.
As I hid in my office for the better part of the day, leaving Grace confused and disconcerted as well, I came to the conclusion that I don’t really care what happens to me in thisscenario.
If the pictures were leaked, I would lose my job, for sure. Task Force would make a statement formally condemning my actions and likely keep me from working with any other entertainment company in Seoul. As much as I like what I do, I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter. With my credentials, I know I could move to London or Paris or New York or Los Angeles and find work pretty quick. I’m positive Dylan’s agency would hire me without so much as an interview.
What I’m afraid of is the fact that Sun’s life, as he knows it, would be over. I know the members would fight for him and do whatever they could to keep him in the group. They would support him however they could. But I don’t know if that would be enough. As much as I’d like to believe progress has been made, I can’t see the industry accepting RYSING’s maknae as a gay man.
I have a little bit of time until I’m supposed to meet Chaeji. I’d briefly considered telling her no, accusing her of stalking and harassment, and going to the police. But every single move feels risky—drawing attention, like I’m tempting fate and the secrets so many people are trying so hard to keep.
