“I want to be,” I admit. He deserves to hear that. Every time we talk, he draws me out a little further, and I need him to know that I’m willing to give back what I get from him. He may have been the one to pursue me, but I’m here now, in this with him.
“You’re everything I thought you were. Hoped you’d be,” he tells me, resting his chin on his hand, head tilted. He looks every bit the idol I know he is, but also a bit like a cartoon character who is looking at someone with hearts floating above his head. “Maybe more.”
I don’t know how to respond to that. To the idea that he not only had expectations of me, but that I have somehow met or even exceeded them.
I want to keep trying.
??
I can feel Jase’s eyes on me. Chita’s, too. Probably everyone else’s as well ifI paid enough attention. But I’m actively trying to avoid all of the pointed looks and marginally suspicious stares.
Despite the fact that Sun and I are nowhere near each other right now—and have barely interacted all night—we seem to be the main attraction at Jase and Nikko’s housewarming get-together. Like everybody expects us to pounce on each other and start making out on the couch, right here in the middle of it all.
Not that I hadn’t thought about it.
I definitely caught Sun looking at me more than once with a somewhat smirky expression that did suggest he might be thinking about exactly that scenario—or something even spicier—and I can’t say I wasn’t curious. I already plan to ask him about it later, if or when we get a chance to talk, just the two of us.
I give Jase the finger from where I’m sitting, trapped by Noel on my lap, to let him know he’s not being as sneaky as he thinks he is. As if she is aware that I have somehow been rude to him, Noel turns and growls at me.
“Seriously?” I say. “You have a house full of people here to pay attention to you. Don’t give me that attitude.”
Nikko laughs as he approaches me, then scoops her up and sets her on the floor to resume frantically circling the room, overwhelmed by seeing everyone she enjoys in the same room at the same time. I’d never admit it out loud, but I was secretly pleased she chose me to settle down with for a while, when I had always suspected I was very low on her list of favorite people.
When Jase called to invite me to a housewarming party, I had almost teased him until I heard how serious he sounded, because Nikko was very excited about the idea of having everyone over to their new place for the first time and playing host.
Even though all of RYSING had relocated and settled in on various floors of the same building, Nikko cohabiting with Jase on the downlow had been deemed cause for celebration. So here we all are, lounging around their apartment, having stuffed ourselves with chicken while sipping beer and hearing about the two of them adjusting to living with a significant other and a small dog that is clearly the master of the house. As far as I can tell, it’s been nothing but domestic bliss.
It’s sweet to watch them together in their own space, really living their lives together. That same strange sort of envy I keep feeling pokes at me as I gaze at Sun. I know we’re just getting started—still learning about each other and figuring out what thisis, what itcouldbe. It’s a big deal, though, taking this type of risk to even give him—and us—a chance.
But I see the way he looks back at me, like he is right now, and I know I’m doing the right thing. No one, not a single one of the women I’ve dated, has ever given me these kind of cliche romcom butterflies. Sun told me in one of those up-all-night conversations that he wanted a romance like the ones he reads. I may not be familiar with the same stories he’s dreaming about, but I’ve never backed down from a challenge.
In my peripheral vision, I catch sight of Sun standing up, waiting for me to glance his way again. He gives a subtle nod to the door and begins to weave his way towards it, deftly navigating around obstacles—a pile of dog toys, stack of English language learning books, and Chita’s broad frame.
I think I’m being stealthy, sneaking out while Noel is barking and demanding everyone’s attention, but I swear I hear, “that took longer than I expected,” as I close the door behind me and meet Sun in the hallway.
He’s got a coy smile on his face as he asks, “Do you want to see my place, hyung?”
The invitation seems like it might include a lot more than just a tour of his apartment, but I agree, letting him take my hand and lead me all the way to the threshold of his bedroom.What I can see of the place looks nice, a mix of him and Chita, but I don’t get much of a chance to take it all in before he’s tugging me into his room.
Sun is stronger than he looks—especially when he’s motivated—and he’s an actual force of nature when he’s determined. He pushes me, literally moving me toward his bed, telling me to sit down and asking if he can take my pants off in the same breath.
“Wha- what?” I stammer as his hands are at my waist, his fingers teasing at the button of my jeans. “Sun…”
“Yes? Please say yes,” he says breathlessly, his knees on either side of my legs as he bows his head to kiss me.
All the fight in me—the reasons why this seems like a bad idea—flies right out of my head when our lips meet in a filthy kiss. Full of hunger and pent up longing and I can’t get enough of it.
Enough of him.
I’ll give him anything he wants right now and if that’s taking off my pants, okay.
I had wondered how I might react in the moment—this kind of situation—if we got here, and now I know.
I flick the button open, and that seems to be enough permission for him. He was waiting, but as soon as I consented, he was ready. I’m not even sure how he managed to whip the denim down my thighs so effortlessly, requiring only the slightest lift of my hips. But somehow, my jeans are pooled around my ankles and he’s sliding to the floor, fitting into the open space between my knees and kneeling on the material.
Like he’s keeping me where he wants me.
My cock twitches in my briefs, and I can see him notice right as I feel it happen. Sun leans down to nuzzle me, his nose against the outline of my length that’s becoming clearer by the second.
