“Mind what? That you’re dating a gym bro?” I shake my head. “As long as he doesn’t try to shame me about my lack of an exercise routine, we’re cool.”
“You don’t care that I’m gay?” he asks bluntly, and I cringe a little, because I’m sure I know now why he stopped hanging out with us.
I’m definitely not ready to admit I’m in my own head about another man so soon after reconnecting, but I do need him to be certain he knows where I stand. “No, I don’t. If you’ve got a good guy, that’s all I need to know. I’m not sure if you remember me talking about Jase? My best friend? He’s gay. I love him and his boyfriend.”
Taeha lets out a breath that sounds like a sigh of relief. “Okay.That’s good. Not typical, but good. Those other guys—your friends—not so accepting.”
“Also not my friends anymore,” I let him know, swerving over to a bench to sit down. Taeha follows, expression curious, waiting for me to say more. “We got together every now and then for a long time, busy with work and whatever, but Dae-Ho got married a few months ago, and I realized they all kind of sucked as people. They were assholes to Jase, and that was the end of it for me. Haven’t seen or talked to any of them since.”
He frowns. “That doesn’t surprise me. They were pretty shitty to me, too; that’s why I didn’t stay around. I don’t need people in my life who can’t support me. I’m glad you cut them off.”
“Me, too.” I nod. Hoping it’s not too much, too soon, I suggest, “Maybe you and Mihyun would want to meet up some night for beers or something?”
“Yeah! We love game nights, so we host those a lot,” he says, excited. “ You could bring Jase and his boyfriend? And whoever you’re dating, of course.”
I smile. “I’m single and Jase’s relationship is… complex, but I can definitely get him to join us. Just no Halli Galli, please.”
“There’s a story behind that, I bet,” Taeha chuckles. He gets a message on his smart watch and stands back up. “I have to go and pretend I’ve been running all this time. Do you still have my number?”
I quickly check my phone to confirm that I do, then send him off with a promise to text soon.
Instead of getting on the trail again to loop around to my car, I stay on the bench a while, thinking some more. Of all the people to randomly see today, it’s Taeha.
Who pulled away from a friend group because they didn’t like who he was.
I think back to the wedding and the way those guys acted. Would they have been the same to me if I mentioned aboyfriend?
Immediately, I’m wondering about everyone I know, everyone I work with or have any sort of regular contact with. How would they react?
I’m Kija, and this is my boyfriend.
I don’t even know what my parents would say. They didn’t hesitate to accept and embrace Jase, so I feel like that bodes well for me.
I catch myself, startled by the way I’m processing all of this. I’m thinking about it like it’s happening. Like this is my reality already.
As if Yung-Sun and I are together.
I imagine taking him home to Jeju, sitting around the table with my parents, peeling tangerines and chatting. It’s surprisingly easy to picture.
A double date with Jase and Nikko.
My heart speeds up like I’m running again, even though I’m sitting still. I think it might be fear.
The idea that I’mhere, in a place of wondering what it would be like to date a guy.
Not just any guy.
Yung-Sun.
There’s just something about him that makes me curious. Makes me want to know more.
Makes me wonder.
???
“Kija!” Grace yells, stopping me in my tracks. “Watch. Out.”
I look up only to realize that if she hadn’t said something, I’d have walked right into the glass partition. “Fuck,” I mumble, because this is not the first stupid thing I’ve done today. “Uh,thanks.”
