“Why is that?”
“We’ve had this conversation before,” I remark, pointing vaguely in the direction of where he was sitting on my desk at the time of the discussion.
Yung-Sun smiles, coy. Teasing. “Remind me.”
Shaking my head, I decide to indulge him. I have to stay professional about this and it won’t hurt to tell him again. “Number one, the company. You know, the one we both work for? There are rules about that kind of thing. Even more for you than there are for me.”
I see him open his mouth, and I’m vaguely aware of him saying something, but I have no idea what it is, because I have just realized my first and apparently most important argument against him is the label. That he is an idol. That he is Lux. Not necessarily that he is a man.
“Hyung?” He’s peering at me, golden brown eyes wide, like he knows what’s going on in my head.
“What? I’m sorry.” I take a breath. It’s fine. Of course work comes first. That’s how we know each other. Where we are right now. It doesn’t mean anything. “What did you say?”
“I said that it doesn’t seem to be an issue for Nikko and Jase. They both work here. No one seems to mind.” He shrugs, drawing my gaze back to the material of his shirt, all of him that it’s not covering.
“That’s different,” I protest, not completely sure I have any kind of argument to back that statement up with.
Yung-Sun tilts his head, daring me to explain. “How?”
“I date women,” is what comes out of my mouth instead of an answer. Which is true. I do. I always have. In the past.
“So you’ve mentioned.” He stands up, walks toward me just a couple of steps, then slowly places his palms on my desk. Leaning over, he tells me, “Sounds like dating women isn’t working out so well for you.”
I can’t think of a single word to say to respond as I stare back at him.
“Remember what I said. You can have me whenever you want me.” He turns to leave, pausing to wink at me from the door before he disappears down the hall.
He winked at me.Again.
What seems like ten minutes later, I’m still blinking at the empty space where he had been, wondering what the hell justoccurred. I feel like that happens a lot with Yung-Sun. It’s like I’ve been run over by a train I never saw coming, but in a way that’s almost pleasurable?
Leaning back in my chair, I close my eyes as though that will give me some sort of respite. However, the first thing I think of is that peek of collarbone from the shirt drifting down his shoulder. I have never in my life noticed another man’s collarbone before. I’m not even sure if I’ve ever really paid any attention to awoman’scollarbone, unless I was up close and personal with it while I was kissing her neck. Even then I don’t know that I would have given it a second thought.
But here I am, contemplating the dip and ridge of Yung-Sun’s clavicle. As I try to think of literally anything else, the next image my brain gives me is that damn beauty mark. Not so noticeable tonight—maybe the distance, maybe make-up—but now that I’ve noticed it, I look for it. Which is another thing I don’t know what to do with.
I can admit that Yung-Sun is a particular kind of beautiful. Have admitted it. Pretty, almost delicate, a little bit soft. If I was interested in men, I could see that he might even be someone I would be attracted to. Could be, maybe.
But he’s got the world at his feet. He can have anyone he wants. He’s young, and who really knows what they want then? And that’s it. I don’t need to think anymore about this. About him.
Sitting back up, I sweep my things into my bag to pack up and call it a night. I swear I catch a whiff of Yung-Sun’s sweet-smelling cologne, like it lingered just to make sure I didn’t forget he was there.
?? ????
“Heeeeyyyyy!”
I hear Jase calling out to me as he comes down the hall to my apartment, where I’m still just hovering in the doorway. I’d stopped in the middle of slipping my shoes off, distracted again by everything that happened at the office. And why I can’t decide how I feel about it.
I also can’t decide whether I’m grateful that Jase is here or not. We’d planned to hang out tonight, but at the moment I kind of want to talk to him and I kind of don’t.
“Damn, rough day?” he asks, walking right in and kicking his sneakers off before setting them next to mine.
I’ve only just looked up at him when he starts to smile. “I’d give you three guesses, but…”
“I’m only gonna need one,” he finishes. “You got Lux-ed, huh?”
Trudging over to the nearest available surface, I sit down on the edge of the coffee table. “I hate that you can do that.”
“What? Read you like a book?” He chuckles when I nod. “I’ve noticed that there is a very specific expression that you seem to get when you’ve been around him.”
