A steady voice echoed through the chapel, pulling me back from the dark thoughts. “Is the family providing any worthwhile advice tonight?”
I whirled to find a stocky, gray-haired man standing in the center of the aisle, his steel-blue eyes twinkling merrily.
“Oh, Tuck!” I gasped, rushing down the steps and throwing myself into the friar’s arms. “We didn’t expect you back for another month, at least!”
“I cannot stay out on the road as long anymore, little May,” he laughed in reply. “An old man needs his rest, and there is no better rest to be had than at Locksley Abbey.”
“I’m not so sure about that anymore.”
“Oh dear, do I sense trouble in my peaceful paradise?”
“It’s just—”
“Ah, ah.” He held up a hand. “Unwelcome news is always easier to swallow with a cup of wine.”
“I think you might be right,” I agreed. We left the chapel behind and made our way through the Abbey corridors while I interrogated him about the goings-on in the rest of Athenium. Tuck was an itinerant friar from another Holy Order, moving from one town to another, assisting various churches and abbeys, conducting public prayer services, and working in orphanages or hospitals. He had been staying in Nottingham during the war, caring for dead and dying soldiers, when he’d found me, a squalling, swaddled newborn, on Locksley’s steps, and given me my name, according to Abbey tradition. Ever since, he made a point of returning every few months, to check on me and to enjoy Locksley’s hospitality. Once we reached the dining hall, he was immediately flooded by greetings from the rest of the Sisters, who also relied on him for much of their news, and even a little gossip.
He was patient during their questioning, and afterwards finished off several plates of thyme-roasted chicken, baked corn cobs dusted with crumbled goatcheese, thick brown-ale bread, and fresh strawberries topped with sugar-cream. Sitting across the table, I merely picked at my own food, and even a cup of the Abbey’s famous black currant wine could not extinguish my burning nerves. By the time supper was over, I had chewed a bloody hole in the side of my own thumb. When the Sisters began to clear their dishes and make their way to the kitchens, Tuck stood and did the same, but then returned for me. He approached slowly, removing the brown half-cloak and round felt cap that marked him as a traveling friar and placing them on my head and shoulders. I was hardly cold, but knew he was only doing it to make me smile. It had been my favorite thing as a child, to dress up and pretend I was going out on the road with him, seeing new places and helping new people.
“What troubles you tonight, sweet girl?” he asked, sitting on the bench beside me.
“Everything,” I told him with a tired smile, “and nothing, I suppose. Nothing to compare with the things that trouble others. My concerns seem so petty when you talk of what the rest of the kingdom endures. People are hurting everywhere, aren’t they?” Tuck patted my hand, then used the edge of his own sleeve to wipe drops of blood from my thumb. His fingers brushed over Will’s silver band, but he offered no comment.
“The state of things outside this Abbey might be dismal,” he told me, “but it does not diminish what happens within the only world you have ever known. No one’s suffering is completely insignificant. Now, tell me.”
“It’s…the Iron Fist,” I sighed. “Johar has given it over to Osric Scarlett, and he came here tonight, asking us to…report people.”
Tuck let out a soft hiss. “That is an unfortunate turn of events.”
“Sissi promised she wouldn’t let him investigate the Abbey, but if she refuses, our taxes will be doubled. I’m not sure what will happen.”
“But if they do investigate…”
“They will look to me first,” I sighed. “Everyone always does.”
“Strange girl with strange green eyes and a strange gift,” Tuck teased gently. “You carry a holy miracle, May. Never let anyone forget it, including yourself. Inside these walls or out,youare a blessing, not a curse.”
“Outside the walls…” I said slowly, twisting the silver ring around my finger, “perhaps I could put aside my gift and…be a blessing in other ways.”
“You haven’t frightened young Will off yet, then?” he asked with a wicked smile.
“Astoundingly, no, but I am…uncertain what the future might hold for us.”
I had always felt far more comfortable being honest with Tuck than with any of the Sisters, especially about Will. Of course, I could never tell him the full truth, but I could, at least, share the strength of my feelings. It was something most of the Sisters could never understand, having taken vows of chastity at the tender age of fourteen. Tuck had joined the Holy Order as an adult, after losing his beloved wife, and so had a better understanding of my circumstances.
“If you are unsure about his feelings for you, then that should be answer enough.”
“I believe that he loves me,” I said. “Iknowhe does. But his father has other plans for him, and I think…his fear might be stronger than his love.”
“Ah, well…Osric Scarlett is nothing if not a man to be feared, and Will may not have the bravest of hearts, even if he does love you. Whatever happens, May, you will make peace with it. Therein liesyourstrength. Another of your many gifts.”
“Making peace with a life that doesn’t seem to have any consideration for me?” I snorted softly.
“No, creating your own peace in a life where peace can be hard-won,” Tuck answered, patient as always. “You have never been one to simply suffer the life others create for you. I have every confidence that you will continue to make your own path, and your own peace.”
His kind words only deepened the miserable ache in my chest. “Perhaps I should just take the vows and join the Sisterhood,” I muttered. “That would leave Will free to decide his own future, and it would protect the Abbey. Sissi would be happy too.”
“What would makeyouhappy?” Tuck asked, putting a finger over my heart.
