“The only thing I am keeping secret right now is how badly I want to kiss you,” he replied, hooking his fingers into my belt and pulling me into him.
“You are a terribly ineffective keeper of secrets,” I laughed under my breath. “Remind me not to share any of mine with you again.”
“I only want you to be careful,” he whispered, planting a gentle kiss on the frigid tip of my nose. “Now, go back to the Bower and warm up. See to Antenor. But when you are free, I need you to meet me in the Hollow, at Aliena’s.”
“Why? What’s happened?”
“Nothing that Oberon or Simeon need be privy to. Make any excuse, and if you can, bring Ceres along with you.”
“Could you be a little less mysterious, please?”
“I’m afraid I cannot,” Devil said with a wink. He stepped away from me, toward the edge of the outcropping, and threw himself into the air with a loudwhoop. I watched him plummet toward the Rot-infested forest, then throw his wings out just above the treetops and soar away.
“Idiot,” I muttered with a stupid grin on my face.
Chapter thirty-seven
Goodbyes & Gold
Ceres’ joy when Iasked if she wanted to see her grandchildren was almost worth the nerve it took me to lie to Oberon’s face. It was only half a lie, because Ihadtold him we were going to the Hollow. But the reason I had given for bringing Ceres along was that little Vale had broken his leg. Naturally, he needed my healing gift, and his grandmother. Oberon considered my request carefully over his morning cup of tea and, again, I wondered if he was capable of sensing dishonesty.
“You are confident Antenor is fully healed?” he asked. “Even his eye?”
“His wounds are healed, yes, save for the scarring. I could not save the vision in his eye, but at least it did not need to be removed. There is little I can do about the fact that he refuses to get out of bed.”
Oberon sighed and tipped his head back, letting his long ropes of white hair trail on the library’s rug. “If I send him back like this, Mariaat will have no cause to spare his life. But the only thing he has said to me these past days is that he wishes to go home.”
“So you will just allow him to throw his life away?” I said angrily. “Because hewishesit?”
“I will allow him to make his own choice, Marina, just as I did with Lyric. I cannot keep him here under guard for the rest of his miserable days, so what would you have me do?” His tone was even, but still hurt, so I pulled my own frustration back. I knew this was not a decision he wanted to make, but it had fallen unfairly on him nonetheless.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I know you think of him as your own.”
“If there wasanyother path, I would take it.” He looked out at the steely, rain-heavy clouds gathering above the Arden, and I waited for him to speak again. “You and Ceres may go to the Hollow. Take as much time as you need to heal the boy, and let her spend time with her family. But when you return, Antenor will likely be gone. I have made arrangements for his return already.”
“I will…say my goodbyes now, then,” I told him, turning to leave the library. On the landing outside Antenor’s room, I stopped and took a deep breath. I could hear movement inside, and knocked quietly before entering. He was finally sitting up, lacing his boots and wearing a long-sleeved tunic beneath his cuirass. It covered the scars on his arms, but the damage everywhere else was impossible to hide. I tried not to wince when he looked up at me. His left eye was scarred and clouded-over now, the skin around it puckered with fresh scar tissue, and the rest of his once-handsome face had been painted over with the same grotesque brush. His long braid, and the shining horns curling around the sides of his head were the only familiar features I might have identified him by.
“Don’t do this,” I said for what must have been the hundredth time. He stood up, appearing strangely smaller now, even though his stature had not changed. Off balance without his great wings, he swayed a little, and his reply to me was flat.
“There is nothing here for me.”
“There is safety here, and family! A life you can choose for yourself.”
“Cowardice,” he spat. “Hiding in the softness of the forest to avoid facing the repercussions of my own failure.”
“You didn’t fail!” I insisted, reaching for his arm. “You were ambushed and saved your own life at a terrible cost.”
“And now, I cannot even remember anything that might help catch my attacker!” he growled, jerking away from me and turning his back. “No. My usefulness as a soldier and as a man has come to an end.”
“What about your usefulness as a cousin?” I asked, voice wavering. “You promised to tell me more stories about my mother, and you cannot do that if you are dead.” He looked over his shoulder and for a split second I thought he might change his mind.
“I am not afraid to die, Marina,” he sighed, facing me again, “but I do wish it had been at your hand…not my father’s.”
“Then brandmea coward,” I cried, “for I would see you live! And if Lyric was here, I know she would too.” My lip and hands trembled, eyes stinging with tears that I refused to let him see.
Antenor studied me for a moment with his head tilted, then murmured, “You aresolike her. Stubbornly kind, but stubbornly naive about the way the world really works. Especially my world.”
“Fuck you!” I snarled. “Go on, then! Throw yourself on Mariaat’s sword and see what kind of honor it gets you in the next life!”
