“You’re still fluctuating a bit with your hormone levels, but they seem to be adapting more to what we expect. How have your mood swings been?”
“I’m feeling pretty good. I haven’t noticed any serious mood swings. I mean, there’s kind of a lot going on in my life right now, so I’m not really sure how much of my feelings are due to that versus mood swings…” I rambled nervously as I shifted on the exam room table.
She softly laughed. “You certainly do have much on your plate, and unfortunately, I don’t really have a baseline for how a latent omega who’s just met her scent-matched pack while starting a brand new ballet company in a new state should feel, so we’ll just have to take it day by day.”
She rolled her stool closer to me. “How are the beta blockers working? Have you had any issues being around your pack mates?”
“No issues, though we all can tell when they start wearing off,” I replied.
“That’s good. I'd like to try limiting them further to just during the daytime at work, especially as you spend more time with the Arco pack. We want your body to naturally adjust to being around them and doing what it needs to do,” she said. “Can you try that with your pack?”
I exhaled loudly. “I’ll try. I just feel like I don’t have control of my lust without the beta blockers.”
“That’s where your pack mates should step in to take care of you. So we want to get you to that point to let that connection happen.”
Dr. Laughlin continued to discuss more tips about dealing with the omega heat flashes, but my mind kept wandering back to what she said—letting the pack take care of me. I wanted them to, more than anything…but it felt too good to be true.
What would I be like without beta blockers? Would I turn into a whimpering fool who needed my packmates around all hours of the day? What if I acted in a way that completely turned them off? My affections for this pack were growing stronger each day. I really wanted this to work, but the fear of them rejecting me felt too real. My hands slowly gripped the sides of the exam bed as I thought about that loss of control. I wasn’t sure I was ready to be that exposed.
“Any other questions?” Dr. Laughlin asked.
My full attention snapped back to her. “No, not at the moment.”
Chapter twelve
Subtle
Ivy
I sat at my small kitchen table on Tuesday morning, slowly sipping my morning tea and reading emails on my phone. The new cast list had been sent to the company; I’d been removed from the corps pieces and given a duet with Preston in the first act. The rehearsal schedule also had me learning an original piece by Isaac. That'd be interesting. I hadn’t really worked directly with him yet.
This whole recast made me feel like a fraud. Every ballet dancer dreamed of being at the top of the studio—a principal dancer—but I couldn’t shake the feeling I was taking a shortcut.
Was it, though? A scent-match like ours was so incredibly rare. Combined with the talent of this pack…maybe I wasn’t skipping steps. Maybe they needed me as much as I needed them to make all this happen.
What did the company members think of me after Friday’s announcement? A part of me cared deeply and didn’t want to make enemies with anyone, but a separate part wanted my pack to have all the success it deserved, and I wanted to helpthem get that success. The more other dancers stood in our way, the more aggressive I felt about protecting this dream—was it my dream now? There was so much change occurring in my life, the last thing on my mind was becoming a famous omega ballerina. One thing at a time.
A sharp knock brought me out of my thoughts and back to reality. Demetrius had arrived, ready to escort me across the street. I grabbed my dance bag and rushed to the door, happy to see him. After locking the door behind me, we started on our usual walk to the company building.
Today, he held my hand as we left my building. That was new. He usually felt so restrained during our walks. His thumb gently massaged mine, bringing my thoughts to when he and I would draw closer together.
“Ivy, since we’re no longer hiding our relationship with you, would you prefer to arrive a little later in the morning?” Demetrius asked me. His rich, smooth voice tickled my stomach as always.
“If possible, maybe a half hour later? I don’t mind arriving earlier if this is what you need,” I said.
“The boys are grumbling about getting here too early as well,” he replied. “We used to take separate cars, but lately we’ve all been arriving together.”
“Was there some unifying factor that merged all four of your schedules?” I joked, tossing him a quick wink.
He chuckled back at me. “Why yes, Miss Turin, there was, as a matter of fact. The pack seems to be smitten with this girl who arrives around the same time as us. They like to catch secret glimpses of her when they can.”
“Meanwhile, you’re stuck with me,” I shrugged. “However do you manage?”
Right after we crossed the street, he gently pulled my arm and led me to the side of the building against a wall, just out of view of the cars on the road. His strong arms framed my body, eliciting a small gasp from me as I smiled, biting my lip and looking up at him.
“I manage just fine, Miss Turin.” His rich voice tugged at my heart, shooting nerves through my stomach and desire straight between my legs. His bright green eyes stared into mine for a brief moment before he leaned forward and very gently brushed his cheek against mine. His rich, dark chocolate, coffee bean scent burst through the air, tickling my cheek as it settled against my skin. I would very much enjoy having this scent on me this morning.
Standing back up, he offered me his hand, and we resumed our walk, coming around the corner of the building and making our way inside.
