Especially the one he's hiding.
I remove my pathetic scrap of nightwear and slip into the washtub. The water feels much better on my skin today than before, and I relish in the warmth and aromas, which somehow seem richer. Gray sits on the bed and watches me.
“Today, I want to show you a little something I do, so you can understand me more,” he says, breaking the silence. Thinking back, I don't really know him. I never cared to learn details of someone else before, but now? I want to. A second chance. For him. My mind starts racing with questions.
“What does this involve?”
“I would rather show you than tell you, my love.”
“How old are you?” Gray bursts out laughing which makes me smile.
“I am older than your world, this earth. I do not know exactly how many years and I do not have an actual birth date.” I look at him, shock on my face. He can't be that old.
“Yes, I am that old.”
“Can you hear my thoughts?” I raise an eyebrow.
“So many questions, my queen. Only sometimes, not always.” He smiles at me from my bed.
“I realised I don't know much about you, so thought I'd ask.” I move around in the water, washing myself and taking a nice long time to do so, knowing Gray is watching my every move. “Why me, Gray? If you have lived this long, why now do you choose someone? Or have you had many lovers in the past and they have all died to old age or the sword?”
“I have taken many to bed, but no further. I always wanted to have someone to share my life with, but none have been good enough,worthyenough, to be by my side. You, Evelyn, are everything I want and need and more. You are my person. You belong withme.”
His words make me shiver.
“But when I die? Then what?” I ask and Gray remains silent. “Gray, then what?”
“I… I cannot tell you, my goddess…” Gray sighs and puts his head into his hands.
I'm done with the bath now. I get out, letting the water drip everywhere, and I go to stand in front of Gray. He opens his legs so I can get as close as I can and he raises his arms to place them on my hips but stops himself, remembering that he can't touch me. His face looks pained.
“Get yourself dried and dressed, my crow, and we will go for a walk,” he whispers. This surprises me a little. A walk? Sounds…cute? Romantic?
“Okay,” I whisper back to him, walking backwards and turning to get some clothes to wear.
As I ready myself for the day, Gray goes out to Ada and the rest of my animals and tends to them. He can touchthem, but notme. I watch from the window as he strokes Milly’s face and Ada’s neck, admiring the trophies plaited into her mane and looking at her draining of colour. But at this, he smiles. My eyes widen in sudden realization, my heart pounding in my chest out of nowhere.
I like this.
No, Ilovethis.
Gray collects some eggs and fetches them back, placing them on the table. This feels so normal. Like, how life should be. Him by my side, tending to animals and being…happy.
I want this.
He glances at me and smiles, and I nod in return. “I'm ready, my Gray.”
His smile drops and he places a hand on his chest, his heart. “My… My Gray?” He repeats quietly, his eyes have gone soft and he’s still holding his chest. I smile up to him.
“Yes,myGray.”
“Oh, Evelyn.” He moves to wrap his arms around me but, like earlier, they simply go through me and he roars in frustration, so desperate to touch me. He looks at me, his eyes bleeding to red.
Anger.
I smile sweetly at him, trying to soothe this anger.
“Let’s go do your job, sweetheart, before you destroy my cottage.” Gray follows me out of the door, but I don’t dare turn to see what colours his eyes are now.
