“Oh, my darling, I cannot takethisgift back. I have chosenyou. I wantyou. I needyou. This is a token of my love and devotion.”
Love?
Stunned, I stop eating. Gray looks down at my plate while I push it forward, frowning a little, before shaking his head and standing. He walks around the table and stands in front of me. I have to crane my neck back, just to see his eyes. Gray touches his crow necklace, and it glows; I gasp softly, not quite believing my eyes. He grabs the black chain and pulls, creating a new chain with half the crow attached. He walks behind me and lifts the necklace over my head, dangling in front of my face. I hold my hair up as Gray places the necklace on me and it fastens with a softclickbehind me. I feel a faint heat radiate through me as it seals. I didn’t feel his body or his hands on or near me. Just a cold presence in the air behind and around me. A hint of frustration and disappointment hits me. Gray comes around and kneels before me.
“Evelyn, my beloved, you cannot remove this necklace now. I have bound it to your soul. You are my other half, my queen, my crow.” His smile grows bigger.
I'm feeling…overwhelmed?
“Happy Birthday,” he says softly with a smile.
Birthday?
I stand to full attention, knocking my chair over and look down to Gray, still on one knee.
“Birthday? How did you know,Idon't even know!”
“I know everyone's birth date and death date.”
“So, you know when I'm going to die?”
“Yes, my love.”
“Can you tell me?” I whisper to him.
“You would want to know your death date? Why?”
“Maybe I could change it? I may kill people, but I don't want to die myself.” Gray stands and walks to the bed, gesturing for me to do the same. I walk around the table and sit down on the bed, close to him. He raises a hand and hovers it over mine before he pulls it back to himself.
Never touching me.
Why?
“I cannot tell you your death date. I may be a God, Evelyn, but I cannot give away that information. That is not my role. That duty falls to another who rarely speaks to mortals. I just come to collect the souls and see them on their way.” I take in his words. He knows when I will die; is that really why he’s here?
I sigh and climb onto the bed properly so I can lie down and think. All thesefeelingsI have, conflicted, yet somehow beautiful. I don't understand them and I feel like I can't contain them, like they’re trying to break my head apart at the seams.
I pick up and admire the half crow pendant Gray gave me. It’s stunning. The way he could just make his whole necklace turn into two halves was mesmerising to watch. He truly is a god. I feel closer to him now.
I need to touch him.
He’s real, he’s here, but I can’t feel his touch, only coldness oozing from him, not heat like us humans. How have I fallen for a god? How have I fallen, so deeply, for aman? I crave him. I’m obsessed with him: his eyes, his hair, his stance, his build… everything. He watches me and we both love the torture and death we bring. The way he helps me and talks me through mykills fetches me so much joy, so much passion and pleasure. So much love.
Love.
Is this what love is? Do I love him? No, that can't be right. I'm incapable of such feelings.
Aren’t I?
But there was that pain when I worried for the girls who left De’s, hoping they would be safe. And Ada as well, my baby…
I sigh and roll over in bed. Gray takes out the leather strip from his hair and lays next to me. His long black hair spread across my pillows. I look at his half of the necklace and then back to his face. He gives me a lazy smile, then brushes his fingers on my face and I close my eyes, ready to feel him…but I don’t. Coldness brushes over my face instead and I open my eyes. Gray looks at me with longing and care.
“Why won't you touch me? Why won't you let me touch you, Gray?” He sighs and rolls onto his back while I stare at him wanting,needing, these answers.
“You’re not ready.Weare not ready. It’s… It’s not something I have control over. Oh, my sweet little desire, I will be all yours soon, and you will bemine,” he growls, frustration building up between us.
“What can I do? WhatmustI do, Gray? Tell me. Please,” I beg.
