He takes off his belt and hits me with it, again, and again. It hurts. He comes to the bed and I try to get away from him.
I thought he was proud of me!
Why is he hurting me?
He lies on top of me and I can't move, I'm trapped. He moves my legs apart so he can get closer to me.
What is he doing? Is this a hug?
I hear another noise, but I don't know what it is.
“You’re like me, Evelyn. You like to kill.”
This hurts!
“You caused those screams outside, didn't you? You're. Just. Like.Me.”
I scream, moving my arms around and hitting my father.
I don’t wanna be like him. I don’t wanna be where I’m not allowed or to make girls scream. I won’t be like him. He’s bad.
I try to get something in my hands—I needsomething. My hand closes around something sharp under the pillow and shove it against my father’s chest.
Red.
I like this.
Again, and again. More red.
I like this.
Father is loud and tries to get out of the hug, but I won't let him; he hurt me.
Red! Red! Red!I like this.
Again, and again, and again!
Mother bursts intoherbedroom. I know I'm not allowed in here.
I don’t like this.
She screams; it’s such a loud noise!
My father isn't moving anymore, and has rolled to the side of me. I move to my screaming mother, taking the sharp thing, which now I see is my father’s hunting knife, and stab it into her neck. Red comes down all over her dress. She’s still making noises.
“Quiet, Mother! You're too loud and you hurt me too much!” I look around and use my new hunting knife to cut up the sheet on the bed. I put it in her mouth, watching it turn from white to red as she lies on the floor, holding her neck.
Neck is the key. Neck is the quiet.
Silence.
I like this.
Red.
Again and again.
Chapter Six
