I’m… attracted to him.
I’m attracted to my best friend. Or, I guess, the guy who used to be my best friend. Aguy.I’ve never been attracted to a guy before. And it’sSilas. I spent my entire life with him. We grew up together, rarely spending a day apart as we had sleepovers on the beach, joined each other’s family vacations, laughed and cried together, and did stupid shit like sneak out at night and tip cows over.
And now I keep staring at his lips and his muscles, and my stomach dips every time I think about him and the way he climbs into a tractor…
I drag a hand over my face and exhale slowly. What the fuck is happening to me?
Across the pub, one of the guys at the pool table leans forward to take his shot, and I let my gaze fall to his ass. I watch as he pulls the cue back, the muscles in his back and arm flexing with the movement, and something flickers inside me.
I like it. I like what I see, and I can’t help but watch as he takes his shot and lifts his beer to his lips.
But it’s not the same.
It’s not Silas.
I bring my attention back to my table and turn the coaster between my fingers. Maybe it’s just the overwhelming emotions of having my best friend back in my life again, and they’re showing up in some… weird ways. I haven’t really seen him in four years, and I used to see him every day, so of course I’m noticing the changes in him.
That has to be it.
The pub door opens, and my gaze immediately shifts to it, landing on Silas as he steps inside.
And there’s that stomach dip. But it’s even stronger this time, because oh mygod.
He’s in his usual backwards hat with his messy hair poking out the sides, but everything else about him has my heart racing and my eyesgluedto him. Silas off the farm is a whole new thing I didn’t know I needed.
He’s wearing sneakers and clean jeans that fit him fucking perfectly, hanging off his hips just right and forcing me to drag my gaze up his legs. His white long-sleeve shirt is fitted over his broad shoulders, just enough for me to see the shape of him and imagine what those muscles look like uncovered. My gaze continues to travel upwards, taking in every inch of him until his eyes land on me, and my heart thumps hard as I almost forget how to fucking breathe.
I may not fully understand what’s happening inside me right now, but I know one thing for sure… I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off him if I tried.
He makes his way across the pub towards me, and I watch the way his eyes dart around and he awkwardly sidesteps people, looking completely out of place. It’s obvious he doesn’t leave the farm much. And I feel really hopeful and insanely happy that he chose to come here with me.
“Hey,” I say when he reaches the table.
“Hey,” he says, sliding onto the stool opposite me at the high-top table I snagged for us near the wall.
His gaze darts around the space again as he presses his lips together, then quickly glances at me and down at the table.
He looks so fucking nervous.
I hate that he’s nervous around me. And while I get it… I also don’t.
“So have you—” I start, but a waitress appears at the table, smiling between us.“What can I get you?”
I glance at Silas, but he just looks towards the bar at the row of taps.
“I’ll get a Gahan IPA,” I say, keeping my eyes on him.
His gaze flicks back to me, and I swear I see a small smile flicker at the corner of his lips. It’s our favourite beer from Prince Edward Island Brewing Company.
He nods, glancing up at the waitress. “Same.”
“Coming right up,” she says, turning to head to the bar.
Silas’s fingers trace the edge of the coaster in front of him, and his gaze moves around the pub like he has no idea where to look.
I smile, trying to put him at ease. “Do you come here much?” I ask.
And I internally groan.
