“So, now you’re telling me you’re never coming back after you graduate?”
His expression softens slightly. “Well… not never.” He shrugs and shifts his gaze to the crashing waves. “But no. I won’t be moving back. There aren’t exactly a lot of systems analyst jobs on the island, especially starting out. And little opportunity for growth in that role. I want tobesomething.”
My eyes snap to him, and his slide back to me.
“Because no one can be something here,” I say.
Levi sighs and shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant.”
But it’s true.
He was always meant to be something. So he has to leave.
And I was never going to be anything. So he has to leave me.
He was always going to leave. I just refused to believe it.
I swallow thickly and nod. “Yeah. You’re right. I don’t know why I thought you’d ever come back.”
Levi rubs a hand over his face, and I see the same hurt in him that I’m feeling. “I don’t want to leave you, Si.”
“You already did.”
He drops his hand and glares at me. “I had to.”
I just nod and push to my feet. I can’t do this anymore… if this is done, then I need to leave.
If we’re done…
I can’t be here.
I can’t do this.
“Where are you going?” Levi asks, standing as well.
“I have more work to do,” I say, turning to head for the path back to the road.
“You’re just going to leave?”
I stop, pausing for a moment before I turn to face him. “I’m not the one leaving.”
He doesn’t say anything as we stand on the beach facing each other. The lighthouse stands tall behind him against the bright blue sky, which was once a symbol of our friendship, and holds everything we’ve shared together.
“I don’t know how to do this, Levi.”
“I don’t either.”
The sounds of the ocean take over the space between us, and seagulls call overhead as we once again stand in silence. And I can’t take it anymore. I can’t be here with him in a space we no longer share.
“I’ll see you around this week. If you have time.” Then I turn and head up the path and onto the dirt road.
I don’t look back and just keep walking. Tears sting my eyes, blurring the dirt road and the fields, but I blink them away and try to hold everything in.
I’m a fucking idiot for not seeing this coming. I’m just a farmer with no future. My biological parents didn’t want me, my mother doesn’t want me… Why would he want me? He’s always had to look after me and push me through life. And now he finally has a life that’s his. Which is not here. It’s not on the island, and it’s not with me.
My best friend started slipping away the second he left for school.
And now I think he’s gone for good.
