He reaches for my shoulder again, and this time I hit his arm.
“Don’t touch me!” I yell. Then I shove him hard in the stomach with both hands, and duck under his arm before he can grab me.
I run fast until I reach the library. I turn the corner and dive under a table tucked beside the back wall and wrap my arms around my knees as I bury my face and try to quiet my breathing.
They’ll come find me soon. But at least here, for a couple minutes, it will be quiet.
No one will make me do things I can’t do, force me to sit, and trap me.
Footsteps sound in the quiet library, and I listen as they get closer. They stop in front of the table I’m hiding under, and I lift my eyes to land on a pair of black Converse sneakers.
And when familiar brown eyes peek under the edge of the table to meet mine, I let out a breath.
Levi drops to his hands and knees to crawl under the table, then he sits next to me without a word and presses his arm against mine.
This is the first year we haven’t been in the same class. Since we were three years old, Levi has been by my side. When I wanted to run, he helped me stay. When I was too loud, he never flinched. When I didn’t understand the rules, he never made me feel like I was wrong.
But now he’s in the other Grade two class. And it’s different. It’s harder. He’s not there to help me.
He’s my best friend, and I don’t get to have him with me anymore.
But he’s here now.
He always knows when I need him.
“Counting on worksheets is dumb,” Levi says after a while.
I turn to look at him, and his soft brown eyes peer into mine as he smiles.
“We already know how to count,” he adds. “Yesterday we counted how many seashells we found on the beach.”
I just stare back at him as he continues to smile at me. I know what he’s doing.
“It’s not the same.”
He nods. “I know.” His smile falls as he leans into me, pressing his shoulder harder against mine. “It sucks.”
I nod too as I stare at the floor in front of us.
It really does suck.
School is easy for Levi. He gets it. He’s smart, he can make friends, and grown-ups love him. He can raise his hand and say the answer that’s always right and earn a smile from the teacher. He doesn’t throw books and yell. He’s the kid everyone wants in their class.
But he never makes me feel stupid. Levi gets me. More than anyone does.
And I know he came to find me when he heard me, even though he doesn’t have to.
“Can we stay here a bit longer?” I whisper.
Levi just nods and stays right where he is, holding me up as he leans against me. “Yeah.”
We sit in silence as we listen to the hum of the hallway outside drifting faintly into the quiet room.
I close my eyes and just feel Levi beside me.
I don’t want to go back.
I just want to stay here, where it’s quiet, and no one expects me to get it right. With my best friend, who makes everything feel a little less hard and a little less wrong.
