I letmy pencil glide over the paper as I flick my eyes towards the emerging plant pushing through the dirt, then back to my paper to get the angle just right.
I didn’t know what I was going to draw today, but something pulled me out here, through the clearing by my cabin and towards the field. And right on time after the first round of irrigation, the plants are starting to break through in the hollow heart field, with their first leaves unfolding as they reach for the light. Even though these same plants would still emerge in a season that ends in hollow heart, something about this growth has me feeling… excited.
“There you are.”
I look over my shoulder from where I sit at the edge of the field and see Dad step through the gap in the trees.
“Hey,” I say, my gaze dropping to his hands where he holds two to-go coffee cups from the café in town.
He holds one out as he stops beside me, and I take it. Then he lowers himself onto the grass as he looks over the field.
“Figured I’d head into town this morning instead of making coffee,” he says, lifting the cup to his lips. “Since, you know, it’sSunday. And we’re not working today.” His eyes shift to me as he gives me a look that says I better not argue that fact.
I give him a small smile and take a drink of my coffee, then set it in the grass beside me. “I’m not.”
“Good.”
Dad lowers his gaze to the sketchbook on my lap, where I’ve started sketching the plant. “I wanted to check in with you.”
My heart thumps as my mind immediately takes off.
Levi said no one would notice anything between us… but my dad notices everything. It’s one of the reasons he’s such a good dad.
But… I don’t want him to notice this yet.
Oh my god. What if Levi was here this morning when he came over? He’s spent a few nights here over the past week…
Oh my god.
“About what I told you about everything… before you came to me,” he says gently.
My heart continues to thump, but now for a different reason.
I haven’t thought of it much lately. Or, really, at all.
It all comes rushing back as our conversation plays out in my head. When he told me about the first two years of my life, before Dad adopted me.
When I was left in the dark, ignored, and on my own. When no one responded to me when I needed them, and I never felt safe.
“Are you ok?” Dad asks.
My gaze shifts across the field, following the rows. The bright, fresh green leaves emerge from the dark soil, catching the sunlight as shadows pool beneath them. Even in this wide-open space that seems endless, they dominate. They continue to push through the darkness and reach for the light as they grow bigger and stronger every day they choose to keep going. And underneath it all, we hope their heart grows whole.
But I know it does.
Because they’re safe here.
I nod, looking down at the plant before me that’s mirrored on my page. “Yeah.” Then I turn to look into my dad’s bright blue eyes that look nothing like my own, but feel the same in every way that matters. “It really helped me to know that.”
His head tilts slightly as he observes me, and I give him a soft smile.
“I know what safety is now,” I say. “I have it with you, the farm, everyone here… and with Levi. And I was able to choose him.”
Dad smiles as well, and the morning sun makes his eyes sparkle. “You seem like you’re doing really well, Silas. You look happy.” He pauses with a gentle nod. “That’s all I ever wanted for you.”
I nod, shifting my gaze across the field again as warmth settles in my chest, and that happiness spreads through my entire body. “I am.”
My phone buzzes next to me, and I look down at it as a text lights up my screen.
