He sways when he stops in front of me, his red, bloodshot eyes barely able to hold focus. His hair is more of a mess than usual, and his face is blank as he looks down at me.
I take a drag of my cigarette and blow the smoke out, staring right back at him.
He exhales, then drops down onto the step beside me, grabbing the railing to steady himself through the motion like he’s not sure which way is up.
I watch him for a moment as he stares out into the yard, with nothing at all behind his eyes.
When I reach over to take the bottle from him, he lets me take it and doesn’t even look at me. I lift it to my lips and take a drink before I dump the rest out onto the grass.
He just sniffs and keeps his gaze forward, as if he doesn’t want me to see what’s really going on behind his eyes.
But I know.
I flick the end of my cigarette into the dirt and stand, then reach down and pull him up with me. He stumbles as he pushesto his feet, so I wrap an arm around his waist and hold him against me as I guide him inside and up to his bed.
Magnolia was right.
But so am I.
Whatever is hiding beneath this wreckage is going to burn again. I’ll make damn fucking sure of it.
TWENTY-SEVEN
My throat feels like sandpaper,and my eyes sting as I force them open. I’m in my bed… but I don’t remember getting here.
The room is draped in the faint blue-black shadows that linger right before dawn settles, but my head still throbs with the subtle light pushing through the curtains.
And next to me, Alder is asleep.
My eyes take a moment to focus as I look at him, lying on his back with his arm over his head, and his tattooed chest slowly rising and falling.
Fuck…
I rub a hand over my face and carefully slide out of bed, moving on unsteady legs towards the bathroom while my head feels like it’s floating.
I keep the light off as I close the bathroom door, finding the bottle of pain relievers by memory and swallowing them with a tall glass of water. Then I place my hands on the counter and let my head hang between my shoulders.
How the fuck did I end up like this? Again.
Eventually, I quietly pull the bathroom door open. But as I step back out into my bedroom, I’m met with Alder’s stare, where he’s sitting on the edge of the bed.
He doesn’t say anything as he pushes to his feet and walks over to stand before me. His eyes search mine, and I’m grateful the light is still dim in here so he can’t see everything that’s on full display. Because right now, I’m having a hard time keeping everything locked up.
Then his hand lifts, and his palm settles against my face in an oddly gentle gesture. And I can’t help it when I pull in a breath, close my eyes, and just… feel him.
When I open my eyes again, he gives me a soft nod. Then he drops his hand and steps back. “Let’s go.”
I don’t even ask where, as he grabs his clothes and leaves the room. I just move to my closet, pull on sweatpants and a hoodie, and follow him downstairs.
By the time I get there, he has coffee brewing and is pulling his shirt on. And when I notice he has a thermos out, I still don’t ask.
I follow him out to his bike, where he stashes the thermos in his saddlebag, and hands me a helmet.
Alder watches as I put it on, but presses a hand to my chest to stop me before I get on the bike behind him. Then his hand lifts from my chest to the strap under my chin, and he wraps his fingers around it, pulling me close to him.
The engine rumbles as the smell of gasoline and leather wraps around me, and his lips lightly brush over mine.
“You good to ride, Doc?” he asks.
