“I don’t want to lose everything,” I say.
“I know,” she says softly. “You won’t.”
My breath catches as I try to hold everything in, but fail. “I think I fucked everything up.”
She shakes her head, giving my hand a firm squeeze. “Cade,” she says, with just enough strength in her voice to make me look up at her. “You didn’t. Everyone here loves you and only wants to help. I’ve been watching you struggle and didn’t know how to help you. But I know everyone wants to.” She pauses, searching my eyes for a moment. “Omar is doing what he has to do. But I know he cares more aboutyouthan these steps he needs to take. And I think if you let him know what’s going on… he can help you.”
I nod slowly as another tear rolls down my cheek. “Yeah,” I say, so quiet it’s almost a whisper.
“Do you want me to help you talk to him?”
More tears well in my eyes as I look back at her. I’ve been nothing but an asshole to her for the past few months… but she’s still here, and she wants to help me.
I nod again, and she gives my hand another squeeze.
Footsteps sound in the hall, getting closer until they stop nearby. Then I hear the click of a key in a lock, and the sound of Omar’s door opening across the hall.
Annika doesn’t move, keeping her hand on mine. “Whenever you’re ready,” she says.
I close my eyes and try to pull in a deep breath, but it catches in my throat, and my hands tremble. I’ve thrown myself into chaos more times than I can count lately, walking straight into fire just to see what would burn. But this… stepping into the light and letting someone see everything I’ve been trying to hide, feels like the most dangerous thing I could do.
But I exhale slowly as I open my eyes and nod.
“I’m ready.”
FORTY-SIX
The water lapsat the base of the sandstone pillars as the tide rolls in, and I watch it slowly rise higher and higher. I’ve been here for a couple hours now, watching the water take over the ocean floor inch by inch, and now, it’s moved on to consume the rocks.
The last time I was here, I came to disappear. To shut out my family, to drown in rum, and to escape everything. Including myself.
But it didn’t work. It just hurt me more.
Now, as I watch the water rise, I think I’m starting to see it all differently.
Maybe the tide isn’t chipping away at the base of everything holding these rocks up. And maybe this isn’t a force of destruction… but a force of renewal. Every time the water rises, it covers another scar. But it doesn’t erase it. It accepts it, reshapes it, and smooths out the jagged edges to create something new.
It isn’t tearing everything apart… It’s clearing space for something that isn’t built yet.
And this time, I’m not here to run away and tear myself apart.
I’m here to see my family and to be honest with them for probably the first time in my life.
A sudden nudge against my hand makes me flinch, and I glance down to find a golden retriever pressed in close to my side, tail wagging so hard its whole body is wiggling with it. Its bright eyes are locked on mine, and its tongue lolls to one side as if it’s grinning.
I look around, but there’s no one nearby. Just rocks, open air, and this dog staring at me like I’m supposed to know what comes next.
“Hey,” I murmur, lifting a hand to pet the dog’s head, and he leans into the touch like he’s starving for it.
“Oh my god,” a voice calls behind me. I turn to see a guy jogging toward us with a leash in one hand and a look of mild panic on his face. “I’m sorry,” he says as he reaches us and clips the leash to the dog’s collar. “He’s friendly to a fault. He doesn’t get much stranger love in Toronto, so he’s soaking it all up here.”
I huff out a quiet laugh as the dog’s tail somehow picks up speed. He pants happily as his eyes flick between the two of us like he’s on the adventure of a lifetime.
“Doesn’t seem like a city dog,” I say.
The guy smiles. “He’s not built for elevators and sidewalks. Pretty sure living on a tiny island is going to be the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”
I quickly look him over, surprised to hear that. He looks like a city boy, with his hair cut close at the sides and styled perfectly on top, with not a strand out of place, and a pair of designer sunglasses sitting on his head. He’s wearing cuffed jeans, a soft grey hoodie, and low-cut sneakers that look way too clean for the red sand beaches of Prince Edward Island.
