I nod, and Alder holds out his hand. He waits for me to take it, then turns and leads me down the steps.
“Cade…” Mom’s voice sounds softly behind me.
But I don’t turn around.
Because I can’t. I can’t see the look on her face as I choose someone over her.
And I’m not. I send out a silent promise to her that I’mnot. I just need this right now…
For me.
So I can show up again later.
Alder opens the saddlebag and pulls out my helmet. But he keeps his hand on it as I reach out to take it, as his eyes flick behind me to the deck.
“You sure?” he asks in a low voice.
All I can do is nod.
Alder lifts the helmet and places it on my head, and as he’s buckling the strap under my chin, I let my gaze land on my car.
“I’ll send some guys to get it,” he murmurs.
And immediately, I’m flooded with intense emotion.
My eyes sting, and I swallow hard, trying to keep it all down.
Because I don’t have to explain a thing. In this moment, right here, I’m understood. He gets it. And I’m safe.
Alder squeezes my hand before he sits on his bike and starts it up, and I slide on behind him. As I wrap my arms around his waist, I release a breath and steal a glance at my family.
Darren takes a step forward like he wants to stop me… but stays put. Dad rubs a hand over his mouth like he’s holding himself back, and Mom stands between them with her arms at her sides, helplessly watching us like she doesn’t understand how this happened.
And they all look sad, hurt, and confused.
Alder takes off down the driveway and onto the road, and I close my eyes, holding onto him tighter.
I’m sad too.
But this is the only way I know how to stay here at all.
THIRTY-NINE
Cade keepshis arms wrapped tight around me the whole ride back to Fredericton, and I can feel his grief through his touch. I saw the sadness in his eyes as he stepped away from his family, and felt the effects of that departure as he climbed on the back of my bike. But beneath that sadness, there’s also relief, and a quiet sort of release. It’s almost like leaving gave him permission to breathe again, and he needs this escape more than he can admit.
I pull into the lot at the garage and line up with the row of bikes belonging to my brothers. As much as I want to take him straight to his house, the club has business to discuss today. And I don’t want to leave him alone.
I cut the engine, and Cade slips off the back. I watch him as he removes his helmet, and I hang both of them on the handlebars. But when he turns to head towards the clubhouse, I grab his arm and stop him.
“Karri trees are fire-tolerant.”
He furrows his brow, but waits for me to continue.
“They grow in wet regions of Western Australia, where the soil is shallow and nothing else really takes. But they have deeproot systems that allow them to stand tall and survive rough conditions. Deeper than most trees would even try.”
Cade’s eyes flick between mine, and he blinks a couple times as his eyes glisten.
“They’ve adapted to survive, and regenerate after fires. And flames even coax them into flowering,” I say, pulling him closer. “They’re strong enough to stay, even when it burns for a while.” I lift a hand to his face, lifting his chin so he looks into my eyes. “But they’re not indestructible. They’ll die in a wildfire that burns too hot for too long.”
