“I get you?”
“You do. Fuck, Peter, stop being so goddamn dry!”
Inhale. Exhale.
“Listen,” he said, now tugging at my arm. Making me move my body, shifting awkwardly as I got myself into bed. Adjusted the pillows behind my neck. Pulled at the covers.
Familiar. Normal. Terrifyingly so.
“A few months back, I decided to go fix a problem in my life. Several actually. I haven’t managed to fix any of them so far, so that is what I am doing now.”
“What problems?” I actually looked at him. Casually. Simple. Easy. Until I had to swallow and found no oxygen in my lungs. I might have coughed. He put his hand on me. Lay down on his side, adjusting his hand on my chest. Flat palm against burning skin.
“I wanted to find the love of my life. Because I think I deserve it. Don’t you? We all deserve to have someone love us. So I went on a bloody stupid show that promised to do the hard work for me.”
“Bullshit,” I spat out.
“Peter,” he warned. “I’m talking. Shut up.”
I wouldn’t have let my boys talk to me like that, but I let Oliver…shut me up? Apparently so. Weak. Pathetic, Peter.
“And?” I wasn’t going to shut up.
“You,” he said softly. “You happened.”
“Oliver, it’s… It’s a bit much.”
No shit. It was a lot. All of this.
“You’re a bit much,” he retaliated with a grin on his face. “You were, from the very first day, standing there in that awful jumper looking like some advert for the perfect midlife crisis.”
“Oh God,” I said. Again. I wanted to crawl under the covers. Hide. Disappear under the floorboards. Just kill me now.
“Nope. You don’t get to deny it. You were just standing there like the hot granddad you were, and then you stripped off and showed me your arm muscles and sat down and actually listened to me. Do you know how much that matters? That someone takes that time?”
I did. I thought I nodded. And that, in itself, seemed to calm him down. The way his body moved, laying himself down next to me. His head on the pillow. His arm slung over my chest.
“So that’s what I’m doing. When I set out to complete something, I do it. I don’t stop halfway through and sidetrack. I don’t back down. I go from A to B in one straight arrow. See what I mean?”
“No?” I was surprised I could still talk.
“I’m fixing this. Us. Because the two of us were obviously meant to be. The TV show is bullshit and all that, but we work. You and me. We work, so I’m going to stay here and look after you until you see it for yourself. Which I think you do anyway, because otherwise you wouldn’t be lying here, letting me cuddle you.”
“So we cuddle now?” I had to smile. He was so ridiculous that it actually…hurt. It hurt my head and my chest and my cheekbones from the way I was grinning.
“We do,” he stated as he rearranged himself. Moving my arm and curling up at my side. Head on my shoulder. Arm now tightly around my waist. A hand sneaking up my side. The tender touches of fingers.
He held me. And I clumsily moved my fingers up his back. I tried to find a way to make us fit.
Who was I kidding? We fit.
“And now we kiss?” came out of my mouth. Not a question. Just an opening. I knew exactly what he was doing because I was doing it too.
“We do.” He smiled, gently lifting his head.
Those eyes. And those plump, pretty lips.
I had to admit it. He was…pretty.
