“Ben scurries off as soon as you walk through the door. You’re quite…intimidating.”
I had to laugh.
“Oliver, if anyone is intimidating? It’s you. You walk into a room like you own it. Shoulders back. Head up. Eyes all…you know. Broody. If I was young and looking? I would run for the hills if you came my way. I think.”
“I’m…” He smiled, looking down at his hands. “At work maybe. It’s different at work. There are, like, set parameters for how people are expected to behave. Like, if I have to meet a client? They arrive. We shake hands. I slap a proposal at them. They fight me for terms and conditions. I pretend to back down and then slap them with another offer. We shake hands. Done. It’s easy.”
“I know what you mean.” I did, and I tried to think of something relatable to say. The people here? They were all intimidating. The young ones had far too much confidence. The older people, like myself? We were all naive. Dangerously so. Far too honest and not guarded enough, yet the kids were spurting out nonsense and… I had to stop my train of thought. I still couldn’t for the life of me remember all the names and faces from day one, and then they’d added four more, and the lineup seemed to change on the daily. No. No. Calm down. At least he was still here, with me. Strangely so. Oliver. Gently watching me from under his floppy fringe.
“Do you want me to mention anything?” I asked. “I’ll be more than happy to have words, both with Ben and production. He shouldn’t be intimidating you. Nor should he be touching you.”
“No,” he said quietly. “I mean? Yes, but I don’t want to rock the boat. I don’t… I don’t want to cause drama. I still have to be here and see these people every day. And Elia is just as bad, but I think he’s simply being friendly. He’s constantly hugging people and holding on to people when he talks to them. I think he’s just touchy. Ben doesn’t touch anyone, but if I find his hand on my butt one more time?”
“Not on,” I shot in. “At least if he’s around you, come find me. I’ll put him right.”
“You can touch him up. See how he likes unwanted attention.”
“No,” I said firmly.
“Do you mind?” he asked, more quietly than usual. “When I touch you?”
“Touch?” I wasn’t sure what he was aiming at.
“I touch you, like…” He reached out and stroked down my arm.
“You show affection. That’s one thing. I don’t mind that. Not from you.”
“We’re friends,” he replied.
“I can’t believe you’re still here, with me,” I said. I’d said the same thing every morning, and that script between us was still there. He just smiled.
“Everyone else here is nuts.” A wink. And I’d smile back.
“I enjoy your company.”
“You won’t say that next week, after they’ve wrung us out and turned us inside out and made us all argue. That’s what they’re doing, isn’t it? Pittingus all against each other, making sure the girls are turning on anyone who even breathes their way and that the boys are behaving like…I don’t know?”
“Entitled twats,” I snuck in. Truth. “I don’t understand half of this.”
“They’re making me do the ‘How gay are you?’ test with…crap. With Ben. Well. He’ll win that hands down. I’m like…the world’s worst gay.”
“You’re good,” I said, not really knowing what he meant by that.
“I like beer. I like champagne too, and I like gin and tonics, but I have to trust my sales assistant to know what size suit to buy. Interior decorating is a mystery to me, and I…I’m… I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to fit in. You know what I mean?”
A surprising admission. One I appreciated more than he knew, sat there fiddling with the corner of a paper.
“Neither do I. I just… I’m just… I’m waiting for the penny to drop. For me to understand what the whole point of this is.”
“It’s a game show, Peter. A bunch of wankers hoping for fame and fortune.”
“And here I was thinking it was a dating experiment.”
“You and everyone else. I’m sure once it’s on TV, they will have cut and edited it and made it all wildly romantic.”
“None of us know how to fit in. I don’t either. I go to these big dentistry conventions, in a cheap suit, and I stand around with a drink and have no idea what to say. It’s like you say; it’s one thing working. Socialising is different. I always feel out of place. No wonder I can’t meet anyone.”
“It’s awful. I hate it.”
