My words came out before I could think, but then…I didn’t want to take them back. I wanted him, and I needed what he gave me. Confidence. Bravery. Peace.
“Always.”
He did what he did best. Took that control away from me so I didn’t have to think. I just let him take the phone from my hand, place it gently back on the little table. Remove the duvet from my body, his hands smoothing up and down my chest.
“So gorgeous,” he whispered. “So pretty.”
“So hard,” I filled in with a little smile. No lie there, my dick was fully in the game as he kissed my chest. Licked that nipple, never taking his eyes off mine. Possessive. Just like me.
I liked it. I liked this so, so much. Loved that he let me love him like he loved me. I felt it, and no lie. I knew. I thought I always had, and now I half laughed at the old me who hadn’t seen it. How had I ever doubted him? We’d always been like this. Just…not crossed the line.
Now he was crossing all of them, and I was willingly opening every virtual door.Have at me. Take me. Do everything to me because I want it all.
“Can I?” he asked, now with his cheek stroking up my length. Cuddling me with his chin against my groin. Burying his nose into my unkempt pubes, not even waiting for my response.
“Anything,” I breathed out.
“Can I suck you and finger you at the same time?”
“Fuck,” I moaned.
“I’ll fuck you. Don’t worry.”
And there he was again, lifting my leg up against my chest and gently kissing my skin. The sensitive spot on the inside of my leg. The side of my balls. All the places I never knew needed his kisses, but now did. The warmth of his mouth on me. My arms stretching over my head, then grabbing my leg so he could get better access.
To all of me. Every little piece of me.
His mouth went there, of course it did. And I was dirty and sweaty and full of yesterday’s shred, but he still loved me enough to give me what I craved. All of him.
Where he found the lube was a mystery, but it was suddenly all over his fingers. All over me.
And then he stopped, just let his forehead drop against my thigh.
“You okay?” I huffed out.
“Just overwhelmed. Like…I can’t… It just hit me, that this is real. That I am actually having…” He was smiling into my skin. Again. He was just like me. Almost like we were sometimes the exact same person.
“It’s just me.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Here he was, looking up at me. His face wet from spit and his eyes all twinkling and that long fringe of his? He blew it out of his eyes with a little huff. “You’re so fucking special, Georgie. You’re like, this ethereal, beautiful being, and you’re so small and soft and scared, and at the same time you’re so fucking strong. And you make me feel absolutely invincible, and then right now it suddenly hit me, that if I was ever to lose you, I think I would just die. I don’t know. Shit.”
His hand flew up and covered his eyes.
“Damn it. I’ve got all sorts on my fingers, and now it’s in my eye.”
Why I laughed was beyond me, but it was funny. The way he was squinting and rubbing, his eyes blinking in big, exaggerated jerks. But hewas mine and this was us, and goddamn if I didn’t feel like my heart was about to explode.
“You’re not going to lose me,” I said sternly, tugging at him, and at the same time sliding down the bed until we were sat up, my hands trying to wipe lube from his eyelashes and his hands holding on to my arms. “You’re not going to lose me because I’m right here.”
“But I keep…you know.” He was still blinking, his bottom lip gifting me a little tremble. I stroked it off with my thumb. “We lost Mum, and Dad went mad,” he said slowly. “I don’t blame him. I would have gone mad too. I mean, I was a mess, for a long time. Cal wouldn’t stop crying. We were…fuck. Things were so bloody hard, and here we are and we’re, like, having sex and I have a breakdown.”
I kissed his nose. His stupid face. Kissed the smear of lube on his cheek.
“That’s because this is who we are. You and me. And whatever happens, I’m going to tell you something. Are you listening?”
“Yes,” he breathed out, rubbing his other eye. He was a mess. So was I. This was just…yes. I agreed. Overwhelming.
“I love you. And you love me. And I think even that first day we met? We had this insane little vibe going on. You and me.”
