So, we…did.
Chapter 26
Oliver.
It felt like an opening, and one I’d fully embraced. Yet he was full of unspoken words, words I realised I needed to hear. I might have called him out on all those things that still sat unresolved in my chest, but for the first time?
Perhaps he was ready to admit to at least some of them.
“Dad, you need to talk to him,” Cal said from the front seat.
I was in the back, next to Peter. Holding his hand as he said absolutely nothing. Not even looking at me in the dark.
Like a child.
Just the small flip of me feeling like the adult and Peter being the troublesome kid, who was about to combust with nerves. I’d seen him like this before and…
“It’s okay,” I tried to reassure him, but mostly myself. It would be fine. I was full of that bravado I puffed myself up with, and was sat here hoping…it would simply hold.
“I just want to get you home and… I don’t know.”
“It’s fine,” I reassured. Well. It wasn’t, but it would be. I was sure of it. I had to be.
“I need to explain things.”
“I’m right here,” Cal reminded us both, grinning in the rearview mirror. “I’m already full of unresolved childhood trauma growing up with…parents like this. I need you not to add to them, Ollie. Keep him on a tight leash.”
“I’ll…” I had to smile. “I’ll look after him.”
“And you need to look after me and Ed too. Not give us a hard time, and soften the blow when Dad goes off on one.”
“It depends.” I was trying to walk a fine line here, and the smile on my face was concerning.
“Well, you’re a cokehead with issues. Dad is off his head already, no chemical relief required. And Ed?”
“What’s up with Ed?” Peter was clearly trying to steer the conversation elsewhere.
“He’s a mess. But in a good way, I think. I had words.”
“Come on.” Peter sighed.
“I’m not like my brother. I don’t spill other people’s issues all over the place.”
I had to laugh. Properly now. Squeezing Peter’s hand as hard as I could.
“I don’t believe a word of anything anymore.”
“Told you we’re all messed up.” Cal sulked in the front.
And I sat there just smiling. Because I had a feeling I fit right in here. Just the way I was. Well…minus the coke habit, because that was something I was going to fix. Right here, right now.
We got home, and Cal, the smart kid he was, went straight out, leaving me standing in the kitchen, dropping my bag on the floor and toeing my shoes off like I lived here.
I wanted to. I wanted a home like this, where I felt…
Safe. It was such an unfamiliar vibe, especially in a place that I hadn’t created for myself. This was a strange home, but one where I’d immediately barged in and made my peace with everything.
“Hi, Mary,” I said softly. “I’m back again.”
