Sure, one day I hope that when Mason gets out of the military, he’ll settle down, get a wife, and give me a few grandkids, but now, I have no idea what the future looks like.
I do know that I want the beautiful soul sitting next to me in it. I don’t know what that would look like, though, if I’m being honest. She’s only twenty-one, and she has a lot of life in front of her. Lots of years for growth. I don’t want to be the person who stops her from becoming the very best version of herself, but I don’t want my life to go back to the way that it was before she moved in, either.
I don’t know. That’s what makes all of this so complicated for me. Even if nothing comes from this summer, she moves back to Georgia, and leaves us all behind as she should, I’ll still have betrayed Briar. I’ll still have the things that happened replaying in my head on repeat.
I meant it when I told her that I wanted to give this a try, but I’m honestly fucking terrified of what that looks like.
I know that rumors will start, and that we’ll get weird looks when we go out together.
What haunts me the most is the reaction of the people closest to me. What will Briar think? How will he react? What will her siblings say, or her mom?Because honestly, none of the other opinions matter at the end of the day. I don’t care what Timberline or Denver thinks about me; I never really have.
I do care what my family thinks about me. Because they are all I have.
Briar told me the other day that Kaden’s pissed at him for some reason. That Kaden won’t return his calls or texts, and when he does, he’s short and cryptic.
I don’t know what all Kaden knows. But it is pretty fucked up what Briar did. I honestly didn’t think that Briar was this kind of person. But the more I think about it, and the more I distance myself from the rose-colored glasses I’ve worn around him, the more I see.
Every day, there’s something I realize I should have been paying closer attention to. Things that I just brushed off becauseit’s just Briar.I should never have done that, no one should have.
I’m angry for Sloane. I don’t understand why anyone would treat her like that.How could parents hurt their child like that?
I’ve been thinking about it a lot the last few days, but what really did it was when she was sobbing into my arms, begging to just be enough for one person.
She should never feel that way, and if Briar has a problem with the way I feel, then fuck him. I know that I can no longer stand by and just watch this kind of behavior from him.
He needs me a lot more than I need him, and that’s part of the problem. I’ve always been the enabler, and it’s time for me to set my own boundaries. I feel awful that it’s taken me this long, but I’m fed up with it, and Kaden is, too.
I’m choosingher. After I left her that night in the rainstorm, I made a promise to never not choose her ever again. She deserves more than what this shitty hand of cards that life has dealt to her.
I look over at her, and she bites her lip, a small smile lighting up her face. I don’t deserve her. I don’t think I ever will, but I’ll work for it.
I’m taken from my thoughts when something starts to pull on my line. I focus back on reality and start to reel in, my pole trying to get away from me. Sloane pops up, and so does Mocha. She puts her hands on my shoulders and watches.
“What’s happening?” she asks, looking confused.
“I caught a fish,” I say.
“No way, really? Hurry, I want to see it.”
I laugh at her innocence. She makes me happy. Her bubbliness, her sass, her undying love for everything and everyone around her. She’s going to be the death of me, but at least I’ll die a happy man.
It takes me a few minutes to reel the fish in, but when it finally breaks the water, Mocha starts to bark and charges at it as it flops on the deck.
“No, Mocha, don’t do that, you’ll hurt it!” Sloane screeches, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him back.
I grab the fish as it wiggles around, gently removing the hook from its mouth before going to toss it into the cooler with ice for later.
“What are you doing?” she questions, grabbing my arm as I shut the lid.
“Fishing…”
“No, the fish! He won’t survive without water,” she says, kneeling down and pushing Mocha away as she tries to get the fish out of the cooler.
“Yeah, that’s the point. We’re going to eat him,” I say, looking at her, confused as she tries to grab the fish.
“What are you talking about?”
“Sloane, why do you think we’re fishing right now?”
