“No, it’s not fine, I still could have included you without it looking suspicious.”
I shrug, my eyes getting watery as the first fireworks start to go off above us.
Mocha runs over to me, jumps into my lap, and cuddles up to me. He doesn’t seem scared, which is good. I figured he would be a little jumpy, but he is acting normal.
“Hey, listen to me, Sloane. You matter to me. So get out of your head,” he whispers, making me look at him again.
“I was asked one question all night, and Lottie made it about her,” I whisper, a tear rolling down my cheek.
“I know, baby,” He responds, cupping my face with one hand and wiping the tear away. “Please don’t cry, you’re so much stronger than that. Don’t let them win,” he pleads, tucking some of my hair behind my ear.
“I hate it, I hatethem. Not Kaden, but the rest of them, I hate them. This isn’t fair,” I whisper, the tears falling faster and harder down my cheeks.
“Shhhh, it’s ok,” he whispers, pulling me into his lap. I melt, clinging to him like my life depends on it. Because right now in this moment, I think that it might.
“I want to kiss you,” I whisper, my eyes drifting to his lips.
“Then kiss me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
That’s all the permission I need, my lips finding his not rushed or hurried. Just slowly, trying to show all my emotions and gratitude using only my mouth.
I move into his lap so I can kiss him better, straddling him as the kiss gets deeper.
I gasp softly, and he grips my hips, pulling away, and leaning our foreheads together.
“You matter. You have no idea how much you fucking matter,” He whispers, and I lean into him. He kisses me again, his tongue slipping into my mouth.
We pull away after a few minutes, both of us a little breathless. Before I can devour him and do very naughty things to him right here in the grass, I turn around so I’m still sitting in his lap but facing out.
“Thanks,” I whisper as I lean back against him, looking up at the sky.
“You never need to thank me, baby,” he whispers, kissing the back of my head and wrapping his arm around my middle.
Mocha climbs into my lap, and the three of us watch the fireworks together, no talking, just me in his lap and Mocha in mine. Like this is how it was supposed to be all along.
“Did they leave?” I ask.
“Yeah, they took off before I came down here,” he says, and I nod. My jaw clenches, of course they wouldn’t say goodbye.
“Oh, ok.” The words come out sounding way more disappointed than I mean them to.
“You ok?” Beckett asks, kissing the side of my head, and keeping both Mocha and me close to him.
“No, it hurts a lot,” I admit, as he lays us down on the blanket. He gently lays Mocha on the side of us, and he doesn’t even flinch, still fast asleep.
“I’m sorry. I wish that I could do more to help, baby. It’s not fair that you have to deal with this kind of treatment from them.”
“Welcome to my life,” I mutter, and he lets out a little huff.
He holds me in his arms while we continue to watch the fireworks. Neither of us says anything, not even after the fireworks are done and we’re left with the night sky.
I curl into his side as we lie down on the blanket. I pretend that everything is fine. That I don’t feel like my insides are mush, and that I want to start crying all over again.
Everything will be ok.
