I let out a breath and shake my head. “I have no idea. Your guess is probably better than mine.”
“Do you want me to talk to him about it?” he asks, tipping my head back and making me look at him. I let out a slow breath.
“I want to know, but I don’t want to make other people do my dirty work,” I mumble.
“You don’t have to always do everything on your own. You are allowed to ask for help.”
“I know. It’s fine, though. Don’t worry about it.”
“I didn’t ask if it was fine, I asked if you wanted me to talk to him.”
“Can I think about it?”
“Of course you can, baby,” he whispers, cupping my cheeks and pressing another kiss to my lips.
“I really like kissing you,” I say against his lips, gently rocking my hips against his.
“Mmmmm, don’t do that, or I won’t care who comes over tonight,” he whispers against my skin as his lips dance over my neck.
“Beckett…” I gasp as he kisses me harder, holding me down against him so I can feel just how much he’s enjoying this.
“Fuck,” he growls against my lips. I whimper into his mouth, and he nips my lip, softly. “You feel so fucking good, baby,” hepraises. My head falls back, and he leaves open-mouth kisses on my skin as my fingers tangle into his hair.
“More…” I whimper, even though I’m not sure what I need more of, just that I need it more than my next breath.
“I wish we could, baby.”
I let out a whine as he rests his forehead to mine, pouting my bottom lip at him like a little kid. His thumb comes up, pressing against my jutted lip. I suck it into my mouth, and he just shakes his head at me in disbelief.
“You’re hard to resist, you know that?”
I smile at him, brushing our noses together. His phone dings in his pocket. I huff as he pulls away so that he can look down at it.
“Kaden said he’ll be here in a few minutes,” he says, sounding a little disappointed. I nod, slowly getting off his lap.
“I guess that I’ll just say goodnight then, so you guys can have yourbro-time,” I mumble, and he stands up, a small smile on his face.
“Alright, baby, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” I whisper, giving him a final kiss before Mocha and I head inside and up to bed.
I take my time getting ready for bed, doing a full skincare routine and filming a couple of nightly videos before closing my day out with a journal entry.
It’s been a little while since I‘ve done one, since I’ve been spending most of my nights in Beckett’s bed. I miss it; I’ll have to keep a journal in his room so that I can start keeping up on it again.
It’s been something very helpful for me.
After moving to Athens, doing research and starting to actually work on myself, I started going to therapy, and it’s actually helped me a surprising amount.
I don’t like online therapy, so I postponed all my sessions until I get back to Georgia. James’s recommendation was to keep a very detailed journal and to highlight all the things that I think need to be discussed in detail when I get back. Or if I ever needed to, I could call him or text him.
I turn my phone off for the night, put everything away, and let myself fall asleep, or I try to anyway.
I toss and turn for the next few hours. When I can’t take it anymore, I sneak out of bed and go down the hall to Beckett’s room.
I close the door quietly, even though the room Kaden is sleeping in is across the house and downstairs on the main floor.
“What’s wrong?” Beckett whispers, pulling me into him. His half-asleep voice does naughty things to my insides.
