“I’m so sorry I left,” I say. As if an apology comes anywhere near to making up for the events that transpired after I panicked and ran away from him. “I knew as soon as I got back to my place that it was a mistake. I understand why you didn’t answer my calls. I pushed you away...”
“No, that’s not what happened,” he says, his voice firm and sure. “If I’d had my phone with me, there’s nothing that would stop me from answering. It’s just when you left, I lost it. I couldn’t stay in my human form. I didn’t want to tell you before and take the risk that it would change things. But male wolf shifters are susceptible to something called moon madness without their mate. That’s what’s been happening to me. I’m so sorry, Kitten. I should have been with you.”
My chest aches as he talks. The sincerity in his voice is palpable and it has my tiger whimpering and needing to be close to him.
“It’s not your fault,” I tell him, running my thumb along his cheek. “You were right. I should never have met Brett. He’s a monster. I don’t need my birth family. I need my parents, the oneswho raised me. And Pippa and Maddie. Sofia and the pack. But mostly,I need you.”
Ryan closes his eyes, a softness settling into his features that I’ve only seen before when he was sleeping in my arms.
“Let's get out of here,” he says, and I can’t think of a single thing I want more than to leave this place and never look back.
“Sorry to interrupt the reunion, which I’m really happy about, by the way,” Sofia interjects. “But you need to shower, Ryan. You get stopped by humans on the drive home looking like a Carrie reject and you’re going to end up arrested.”
“That’s a good idea,” I agree. “I could do with cleaning up too.”
Ryan nods and stands before turning to Sofia. “Can you help Maya up? I don’t want to get blood on her.”
My insides melt at the thoughtfulness. Even in this crisis, he remembers what I need and prioritizes it. I grasp the remnants of my skirt and get up from the floor. My legs are shaking, and my shoulder throbs with a lingering ache.
“Maya, you should probably know something before going up there,” Sofia says softly. “Brett Lo is dead, and Michael Lo is… incapacitated.”
I don’t know how I feel about it. Brett was happy to send me to a fate worse than death. And Michael didn’t seem happy about the situation the way his brother was, but he wasn’t doing anything to prevent it either.
“I don’t want to see them,” I tell her, my voice shaking but my intention firm. “I’m not sure what the situation with Michael wassince he didn’t seem to be enjoying my suffering the way the other two did, but he didn’t help me either.”
“I’ll handle it,” Sofia assures me. “You go. Get cleaned up and get out of here. I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, pulling her into a one-armed hug. The words are woefully inadequate, but they’re all I have.
“Let’s go, Kitten,” Ryan says. “We’ll get washed up and on the road.”
Ryan and I walk up the stairs, and when we reach the first floor, he steers me away from the carnage that had unfolded. A warrior directs us to the bathroom and lets us know he will grab us some clothes.
Ryan turns on the water and tests the temperature. “You can shower first. I’ll wait outside.”
“I don’t want to be alone,” I say, hearing how his heartbeat ratchets up when I step closer to him. I have no idea how long it was that I couldn’t access my tiger and her enhanced senses, but it felt like I was missing a limb. I don’t know how I suppressed her for so long. Without her, I wouldn’t know that Ryan’s heart is pounding. I wouldn’t be able to smell the changes in his feelings and detect the longing and desperation amongst the acrid smell of blood.
“Can you help me out of my clothes?” I ask him. “My shoulder was dislocated, and it still hurts.”
Ryan whimpers before raising his hands and gently unbuttoning the last remains of my blouse. I would never wear it again, evenif it hadn’t been all but destroyed, but the tender touch after the destruction soothes my soul, and I think Ryan needs it too.
I let go of the scraps of my skirt as he pushes the blouse over my shoulders without ever touching my skin. His face pales and his mouth presses into a tight line when he takes in the welts across my chest from my attacker’s belt. I turn around slowly, and he unclips my bra. Next, he hooks his thumbs into my underwear and slides them down my hips, leaving me bare before him.
I step under the spray and hold out my hand for Ryan to join me. He hangs back a moment, his eyes staring into mine.
“You’ve been through so much,” he says, his voice ragged. “We haven’t even had a chance to talk about it.”
“I know, and we will talk. But for now, I just need you. I need my mate.”
Ryan lets out a low rumble before stepping under the water with me. He reaches for the shower gel and begins to wash away the blood that coats his bare skin. Unlike previous showers where he focused his energy on me, tonight he scrubs his own body, removing every trace of blood. The lather turns pink, running down the drain before revealing Ryan’s beautiful skin and the already healing wounds from the fight.
He continues to scrub far past the point of cleaning, as if he’s trying to erase the memory. But he doesn’t need to.
“Ryan,” I say, placing my hands on his. He doesn’t look at me, just stares down as if he has done something unforgivable.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “You deserve so much better. Someone who wouldn’t lose it like I did.”
“I needed you to lose it,” I tell him, pressing my face to his chest. “I needed you, and you came. You saved me. Now I need you to touch me, hold me, and never let me go.”
