“You can’t keep this from her,” she yells at him.
“I’m not planning to,” he replies. “But Maya has wanted to know about her origins her entire life. I can’t just drop this bombshell on her.”
“Ryan, this will destroy her. She needs to be able to trustyou. She needs her mate to get through it.”
Blood thunders in my ears, a frantic drumbeat that obliterates every other sound, including the rest of their conversation. He knows something about my family, something significant, and he hasn’t told me. My mouth goes dry, and my chest feels empty. All the warmth that has been building inside me dissipates slowly out of my body, leaving nothing behind but a hollow ache.
What does he know? How long has he known whatever it is? And most importantly, why has he withheld it from me? My tiger encourages me to hear him out. I don’t know why I started to trust him again after how we started, but I did. I wanted to believe it was meant to be. Wanted to let fate and mate bonds explain away his insane behavior. I should have known better. My trust in him is disintegrating, leaving me lost in a sea of suspicion with a desperate need for answers.
I push forward on shaky legs, arriving at the cabin as Sofia storms out. “Maya, shit sorry,” she blurts out, her eyes wide and her expression like a kid who got caught with their hand in the cookie jar. “I was just leaving.”
“I can see that. Good chat?” I ask, my voice flat and devoid of all the warmth of our burgeoning friendship. Sofia winces and pulls me into a hug. She knows I’ve overheard.
“Talk to him,” she says, holding my hands and staring into my eyes. Her gaze is pleading, and her body language tells me she’s afraid of what’s about to happen. Is her fear regarding the information Ryan withheld, orsomething else?
“Let him explain. He’s a fucking idiot, but he means well. I’ll give you some space, but I’m here for you. Just call me and I’ll be there. Or I can wait here? What do you need?”
She is usually so self-assured and confident that seeing Sofia looking so uncomfortable and unsure melts a little of the ice in my veins. And at least she was in my corner, from what I heard. Maybe we can stay in touch even if Ryan and I don’t work out.
“Thanks, Sofia. You can go. I’ll talk to you later.” I give her a weak smile; it’s the best I can muster at this moment. She doesn’t return my smile. There’s an undercurrent of fear in her scent, and I’m not sure it’s just about me overhearing that Ryan has been keeping things from me.
My tiger is strangely subdued in all of this, and I don’t know if that’s a help or a hindrance at this point.
Sofia walks away while I wait a moment before going into the cabin to face Ryan. I need to try to ground myself if we’re going to have this conversation. I don’t want an explosive argument, but I also don’t want to let him use the bond to brush it under the carpet. How could he keep it from me? After all the conversations we have had about how much I wanted to connect with my biological family, this is a major breach of trust. And if we don’t have that, what do we have?
Breathe in for four seconds.
Hold for four seconds.
Out for four seconds.
Hold for four seconds.
And repeat.
I’m not sure how many rounds I run through, but it’s not working. How could it? Ryan knows something about my family or origin.And he didn’t tell me.He let me believe he was reaching out to other packs and that no one knew anything. How long has he known? And why did he tell Sofia but not me? Why am I the last to know aboutmyfamily? I need to claw back my control. I’ve given too much to him, let him fill me with promises.
Well, that ends now.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Ryan
My wolf pushes against my threadbare restraint, trying to force me to open the door rather than stand here listening to Maya practicing those breathing techniques. But she needs to ground herself. I’ve observed her doing it whenever she is stressed. My touch works better, but I don’t want to force that on her right now.
My wolf doesn’t agree. He wants to wrench the door open, pull her into our arms, and never let her go.
I should have told her sooner. Not that first night, when it was all up in the air and I lost my shit before I could even get the full story. I didn’t have any confirmation it was more than just a coincidence that a pregnant tiger shifter broke away from the keepers around the same time Maya was born.
But I’ve spoken with Caleb and Katie, and Caleb emailed me copies of the relevant reports. The chances of it being a coincidence got lower and lower the more I read.
Seconds turn to minutes, and Maya remains outside. She’s still there; I can hear her breathing. It’s the only thing that stops me from yanking open the door and dropping to my knees to beg her forgiveness. But this isn’t about me.
Eventually, the door handle descends, and Maya walks in. Her beautiful features are pinched tightly together. Anger radiates from her; I can smell it emanating from her pores. She’s not shouting or screaming. She’s bottling the anger up, bottling everything up like how she used to lock her tiger away.
“Explain. Now,” she orders, her tone harsh and unforgiving.
“I will,” I agree, nodding and taking a small step toward her. “Can we sit?”
