What if they aren’t two different men? What if you could have it all?
Bile travels up my throat as everything I’ve been ignoring slots together. The things he knows that he shouldn’t, the way my body reacts to him, his scent. I’ve been fucking my patient. And how did he end up at Sanctum Obscura? Did he follow me? Oh my God, how am I even questioning this?Of course he followed me.
My head spins, and the voice inside me pushes against my control.
I haven’t been sticking to my routines lately. I’ve let my control go. I gave it to him. And he’s been lying to me all this time.
“Stop lying to yourself,” Ryan says, his voice a low murmur that washes over me. “Stop telling yourself you don’t know.”
“I can’t do this,” I say, more to myself than to him. I push his chest. He’s an immovable wall of muscle, but he steps back anyway. I grab my keys and race away from him. Even though every fiber of my being is pulling me back. Even though that voice feels like it’s clawing its way out of me.
I wrench open the car door, but he’s already behind me and slams it shut again.
“Let me go,” I protest weakly as he leans forward, pushing his hard body against me. The familiarity of his touch presses in on me, and it’s all too much to ignore.
“You know. Maybe not logically or intellectually because you don’t want to admit it to yourself. But don’t pretend you don’t recognize my scent.”
“I thought you were wearing the same cologne. That it was a coincidence.”
“And what about how your body is screaming for me? What about the tingles that erupt everywhere I touch you? Did you think that was a coincidence too?” His voice is barely above a whisper, and his breath is hot on my neck. My nipples are hard peaks, straining in my bra, and my panties are soaked. My breathing is labored, and I can’t help the whimper that leaves me when he pushes his hard cock against my ass.
He brushes my hair to the side and kisses behind my ear. I should stop this, but when he grazes his teeth over that spot on my neck, I know I can’t.
“You’re so fucking wet for me right now,” he murmurs. It’s not a question but a statement of fact. And I can’t even deny it because it’s true. “Your body knows the truth.”
“What truth?” I ask, spinning to face him.
“That I’m yours. Body and soul. I belong to you. Don’t turn me away.” He presses a kiss against my lips that I’m too shocked to return at first. But then I melt into him, and I know he’s right. Every part of me craves his touch.
But he lied to me.
He followed me.
He plugged my pussy and ass with remote-controlled toys and sent me to work so that he could mess with my head and watch me while I fought tooth and nail to stop from coming.
This is not the behavior of a reasonable man. It’s love bombing, controlling, and deception. All of those conversations about consent are skewed now. It wasn’t consent when I didn’t know who I was consenting to.
The new context has me remembering everything differently. Did he even have a mental health crisis? Was he stalking me from the very beginning?
My stomach churns with fear and outrage, and even disgust. Nevertheless, the arousal remains. I still want him, even knowing everything. Or maybe not everything. Maybe there are still secrets he’s holding back. He’s not the only one with secrets.
Ryan slowly takes the keys from my hand and guides me to the passenger seat. He leans in and engages my seatbelt like he didearlier today. There’s a slight crease on his forehead, and his eyes tell me he’s worried there won’t be a way to come back from this.
He’s not the only one. I’m worried too. I’m worried that even after everything, I still want to come back.
I shouldn’t want to. But even though he has been lying to me. He’s still the closest I’ve ever been to feeling like I met someone I could be happy with. The only person I’ve ever felt I could belong to.
Chapter Thirty
Ryan
Maya is quiet on the drive back to her place. I can practically hear the cogs turning in her head. Did she really not have any suspicions? Is she only now putting everything together?
Her frozen, deer in the headlights expression has me questioning what I’ve believed myself. If she had an animal, she should have known. And if she doesn’t know, does that mean she isn’t a shifter? What if she’s something else?
Her seat belt is already off as I take out the key, and she jumps out of the car like it’s on fire.
“Maya, wait,” I call after her, but she doesn’t respond. Tonight has been a lot for her. I shouldn’t have pushed it after everything with her father, but my wolf was clawing at me so hard I couldn’t keep it in. My need to look after her—to make everything better—couldn’t be met while she was still thinking of me as a patient.
