This conversation was long overdue. Now that everything had come out in the open, and I had gone against our father, there was no reason to avoid coming back. I’d seen enough. I used to fear that being in the same room as him would bring us to a place we couldn’t come back from. I didn’t know what I knew now. Our relationship was a sinking ship, and I was happy to let it settle at the bottom of the ocean for good.
I had hurt my sisters for years because of this feud with my father. I was eighteen years old when I left, and their lives were just beginning at thirteen. Pictures, cards, and gifts didn’t make up for my absence.
Looking at the two of them, I felt ashamed.
“I know that I’ve hurt both of you. I let my differences with dad determine how I showed up for our family. I blamed him for all of it. But it was my burden to carry as well. I should’ve shown up for both of you, no matter what. I can’t turn back time, but I can promise to do better. You both are two of the most important people in my life, and it’s killing me to think you ever thought otherwise. I’m so sorry.”
“These past few weeks have been the most time we’ve spent with you in the last decade.”
“We don’t want to go back to the way things were before.” Janae chimed in.
The moment they were born, my whole world changed. I gained the responsibility of taking care of them. I walked them through the doors on their first day of elementary school. I scared away their bullies, and I let them convince me to play tea party. They were supposed to know and trust that I would always be there for them, and I hadn’t been.
I let myself foolishly believe that staying away from the very place that made me was me just protecting my peace.
I was wrong, so wrong.
I stood up and brought them into my arms, feeling a bit lighter after our discussion. They deserved better from me. I was going to make sure they felt my love and support as a big brother.
Chapter 36
Evelyn
Being alone on the estate felt different today. The facade of safety had been ripped away, and the eerie feeling of eyes on me returned. After Parker left, I finished journaling and went back inside the pool house to get dressed for the day.
My thoughts drifted to last night, I thought I would wake up with regrets, but the feelings never came. Last night, my body felt alive, staring into Parker’s eyes as he made me feel pleasure that I thought was impossible. When my past threatened to overshadow the moment, he didn’t shy away from me. Instead, he supported me, kept me grounded. It was all so overwhelming in the best way.
Is this what it felt like to be truly loved? I wonder if this is what Celeste felt with Rico. I so badly wanted to talk to her, tell her everything.
You know what love feels like, Evvie. You don’t need to ask me.
Sometimes I didn’t know whether her voice was just the depth of my subconscious, telling me what I already knew, or some cosmic gift. Either way, my breath came easier knowing that maybe the work with Dr. Beck was paying off. Trust wouldalways be difficult for me. Learning to trust myself and my decisions was new.
I meant what I said to Parker. I was done running, looking over my shoulder, waiting for the boogeyman to appear.
Stepping through the sliding door, I walked to the security booth, meeting William at his car. Earlier, I had seen William passing by, and he offered to take me to the Marquis. I quickly texted Parker to let him know before hopping in the car. Mr. Woods hadn’t rested a moment. He told all the security staff that they would not be paid to guard me. There were a couple of things at The Marquis that I needed for work. I’d have to stop in and let Thomas know I’d be working from home for a while.
On the way to The Marquis, William and I chatted about the Atlanta Hawks game, and he asked me how work had been going. We had become good friends. I knew that he grew up outside of Oakland Ridge and moved here after he finished with the Navy. Gerard was like a father figure to him and helped him get a job with the Woods. All he wanted to do was live a quiet life and one day share it with someone. He was 41 years old and thought kids weren’t in the cards for him. But I always told him differently. I didn’t like him not having just a little bit of hope. After all, he was a catch.
The threat of Mr. Woods didn’t scare him. It was his day off, and, no one could tell him what to do with his car. I wasn’t about to argue with him. He had a point.
William left the car parked in front of the Marquis and followed me inside like it was a normal day at the office. My tablet was exactly where I thought I would find it, charging at the foot of my desk on the floor. Bending down, I grabbed it, just as I heard the lock on the door click. My head shot up, intending to see William, but it was Sheriff Strauss.
“That is a mighty big fella you got out there. I wasn’t so sure I’d get in.” He belly laughed, and the smell of alcohol wafted off him.
Rising from the floor, I stood behind the desk. I felt the hairs on my arm rise.
“Are you alright?” He was clearly drunk, his face was flushed, and a sheen of sweat covered his brow. Strauss pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and made himself comfortable in the loveseat by the door.
“Oh, I’ll be just fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”
I busied myself collecting what I needed and stuffing my bag, hoping he wouldn’t see how on edge I was.
“I’m doing just fine, as you can see.” I laughed nervously, inching toward the door. The sooner I ended this conversation, the sooner William could take me back to the estate.
He stood suddenly swaying into the side table as he blocked my path to the door.
“I heard things got a little heated at the mansion the other night. It sounds like your vacation may be ending.”
