“Danny can take care of himself. I trust him. The only way we’re going to get Charles behind bars is if we keep asking questions.” He grimaced. “I’m sorry for not saying something earlier. I just wanted you to have a good time.”
“You don’t get to make those choices for me. Charles is afterme.I have a right to know what’s going on.”
“You’re right.” He sighed, tilting his head upwards towards the sky. “I thought I was doing the right thing, but trust works both ways. I should have told you right away.”
Just like that, the weight of my revelation and Danny’s update has my emotions spiraling out of control. The panic barreled into me like a tidal wave, creating a hollow pit in my stomach, my breathing becoming short. I’m on my feet in moments, my hands trembling as I pace back and forth, fighting the instinct to run again. It would be foolish for me to leave here. My brain knew that, but my nervous system was firing signals to the rest of my body, telling it to jump ship.
“My parents—my dad, I should say—cut me off when I decided not to go to college and instead pursue being a firefighter.”
The swift change of subject stopped me in my tracks, I took a seat near the pool’s edge.
“I didn’t take it seriously at first until all my cards stopped working a few weeks after I arrived. I got a job and made endsmeet, but for months I felt.” His voice tapered off as he searched for the words he wanted to say.
I knew what he was doing. He was trying to distract me from the news he had just broken. It was working, sort of. However, it was reminding me of why I was out here in the first place.
“I felt betrayed and abandoned, I guess. It took me a while to acknowledge those feelings or even name them for what they were. Part of me thought that once I left, my father would eventually be proud of me for making my own way. But that day never came.”
Parker sat next to me, looking out into the water as he spoke.
“It wasn’t intentional, but I feel like I abandoned the twins and my mother as a result of the rift I had with my dad. I missed out on Aja and Janae growing up and all their achievements. Even punished my mom for not doing more, even though I know my father isn’t easily swayed.”
The anger I felt towards him a few moments ago fizzled out. Wanting to give him the same comfort he gave me, I reached for his hand, lacing our fingers together again.
“I’m back in Oakland Ridge for the first time in almost ten years, and despite the tension between my father and me, I’m starting to realize that I’ve missed them, I’ve missed this: being home and being close with them. Eventually, I got back on my feet, made money, and even invested enough to buy my Brooklyn brownstone, but I still feel like a coward for staying away.”
“You’re not a coward. You protected yourself the only way you knew how.” I say. I know a thing or two about that. I used to have friends, people who checked in on me, and I cut them off. I stopped responding to their messages and their calls. I couldn’t stand the pity in their eyes. Seeing them reminded me of what life was like before and how life would never be that way again. They didn’t deserve to be ghosted, but it was the only way I knewhow to protect myself and those feelings that threatened to take over and drown me if I let them in.
Parker's head hung low. I hated to see him so upset.
“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have come home. Perhaps it’s time I try to repair what I’ve broken. I don’t think I’ll ever really be on good terms with my father at this point. But I want to try to be there for my mother and sisters more. They deserve that.”
“I think that’s a great idea. Maybe you’ll even write a list of your own.”
That earned me a smirk, his dimple still managing to poke through. The look he gives me is disarming. I’m lost in his eyes and the warm feeling of his hand in mine. With another squeeze to my hand, he looked away first and looked out into the water again.
We sat by the pool, taking in the night air with our feet dangling in the water. His hand stayed in mine, even though the tough conversation we were having has long since ended, and the tension has faded.
Everything about this moment felt good. Tonight made me feel alive. Parker had been the perfect date; attentive and caring. He led with kindness and took his duty seriously. Although he didn’t want to be there, he greeted everyone with his signature smile. I admired the way he persevered. Parker was facing his own troubles, yet he still found joy and reasons to laugh—that stirred something within me. I refused to acknowledge it. I couldn’t let myself become careless.
I was barely whole as it is, and I wouldn’t let Parker get hurt because of me.
My mind was made. I would tuck these feelings away, focus on getting my life back and bringing justice for Celeste.
Besides, my heart couldn’t be trusted anyway.
Chapter 23
Charles
Things had been going so well,I thought to myself as I brought the shovel down onto the hardened soil and scooped another pile of dirt out.
They always talked way too fucking much. All I wanted to do was pretend she was still here. But they always fucked it up.
Since my little outing back in Virginia, I had been on the move, never staying in one place for too long.
Sienna? Santana? Sarah? Whatever her name was, she approached me when I was grabbing a pack of smokes from the local gas station. She was young, not more than nineteen, looking like she was dressed for a club in the meatpacking district instead of living in a podunk town in Virginia. The girl was practically hanging off my arm as I pumped gas in my black Highlander.
That should’ve been my first red flag. She said she needed a ride down south, and she couldn’t pay, but she was great company. The wink she gave me made my lip curl up in disgust, but I agreed all the same.
