My life wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t feel like I had to look over my shoulder every day. Charles and his protector were gone. He would never harm me or anyone I loved ever again. That brought me comfort. I knew that I could find peace as long as he wasn’t here to steal it from me.
It was noon on a Tuesday, and my feet led me to the place where I knew I would find Parker. When I walked into the home gym, I found Parker with his physical therapist, Reggie. Parker had been working with him for the last month, pushing himself to the limit. Whenever anyone told him he was going too far, he was quick to brush them off.
Parker was lying on the table, and Reggie was walking him through a leg exercise with a resistance band. He was struggling to get through them. Sweat beaded at his hairline, his face scrunched up in focus.
“Don’t push yourself. We’ll keep working on it. Rome wasn't built in a day,” Reggie commented.
“I can do this,” Parker said, his breath labored as he continued to push.
“Babe, why don’t you relax? You’re pushing yourself too hard, too soon.” I coaxed from the sideline.
“Evelyn, I’ve got it.” He snapped. Closing his eyes and letting out an exhale turned his head in my direction. “I’m sorry.”
Walking over to the table, I placed a kiss on his forehead before heading back out. Nodding my goodbye to Reggie.
The last few months had been challenging, full of ups and downs. Parker was scared; he told me as much. The departmenthad set a date for their meeting, and he was worried about was losing his job.
Parker was grieving his career before he knew if it was really over. Being a firefighter meant everything to him. He dedicated his life to the job.
His recovery had been going well, but nothing was final. We were in the thick of it. I made sure to hold space for his feelings and the possibility that this might be the end of his active Firefighter career. Some days he was cold, his mind set on a particular outcome, other days he laughed and carried on like his regular self. I didn’t take offense to it.
I would love him through this season of life. We still hadn’t said the words to each other. There were times when the words almost rolled off my tongue, but I held them close. It wasn’t the time, and I knew he felt it. I poured love into everything I said and did.
We held each other every night, and whether words were spoken or not, I knew he still cared for me.
I had a meeting with Dr. Beck in a few minutes so I found myself in the garden.
Taking a seat on the grass in my usual spot, I opened up my laptop to join the call.
“You look well! How are you feeling today?” Dr. Beck said, opening up his notebook and adjusting his glasses.
We exchanged pleasantries. I updated him on my health and how my wounds were healing. In return, Dr. Beck updated me on his parking space debacle. In typical New York fashion, Dr. Beck was engaged in a battle over a parking space with his neighbor.
My homework last week was to write about Charles and how I felt being the one to take his life. Dr. Beck had slowly been easing into the topic of Charles. My feelings were complicated. On one hand, I felt like I stooped to his level by feeding into myanger. On the other hand, I knew it was a choice between him and me, and I chose myself.
“Are you comfortable talking about your time with Charles today?”
“I’m ready.” I responded, although my stomach still twisted in knots whenever I thought of the day I was taken. “I don’t regret what I did. Charles was going to kill me, he almost killed Parker. If I had to make the choice again, I would do it again. I can’t find it in me to have regrets.” I said plainly.
“What you did was self-defense. I’m proud of you, and I’m happy you’re still here.” Dr. Beck removed his glasses. “Charles hurt a lot of people. Your feelings are valid.”
“When I think about all those women he hurt, I’m glad he's gone. I hope those families can find peace after all of this. Danny said the investigation is still ongoing. There are a lot of people involved, many of them with the power to let these women slip through the cracks. I’ll probably have to testify at some point.”
My testimony would be just a drop in the ocean compared to all the evidence Danny managed to collect. Sheriff Strauss had served for a long time. His crimes didn’t just start with Charles. He was well-connected, and every connection would be held under a microscope. Charles had killed Brown and Black women and gotten away with it. No one batted an eye when the leads turned cold. I was terrified of getting up on the stand and telling my story, but I knew I had to. I wouldn’t let the death of those women be swept under the rug. They deserved to be acknowledged. Their lives meant something.
“You sound confident, and I’m happy to hear it. You’ve made leaps and bounds of progress in the last few weeks. You should be proud of yourself. Have you decided what to do about your family?”
The topic of my family had been more tense than the conversation surrounding Charles. Mr. Woods had reopened awound I was sure had healed ten times over. My father was out there, and I had two sisters. Some nights, I found myself staring at the family photo attached to the dossier the sheriff had compiled. My sisters were beautiful, and they looked happy. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to imagine them as a part of my life.
“I decided that I want to keep that door closed.” I rubbed at my temples, feeling a tad overwhelmed. “My father chose to leave us and start over. Even though they’re innocent, they represent everything our father wasn’t for Celeste and me. Maybe one day I’ll change my mind and have a desire to know them. But right now, I have all the family I need, right here.”
“You don’t owe anyone anything. I imagine seeing their happy photos brought up a lot of negative feelings. They have the relationship you craved to have when you were younger. It’s only natural to feel resentment. You’re only human.”
If they’re happy, I want to leave them be. There’s no need to pop their bubble. Maybe he’s changed, and he’s a great father. I’ll never know, but I won’t be the one to create that wound. At twenty-three years old, I had been carrying the pain of never really knowing my father for years. It took my mother dying for me to realize she filled every hole he created. Our family was unique in its own way. We had joy, and we had troubles, but we had each other. This was his loss, not ours.
Our conversation shifted between topics. Over the last few weeks, healing has been my main priority. The Woods women constantly fussed over Parker and me. When I was finally able to move around more freely without feeling like I would pop a stitch, I got back to work. Despite everyone’s advice to ease back into regular daily life, I didn’t want to wait.
I’d waited long enough to do all the things I wanted to. A future was possible, and if I wanted to start this business, I had to work at it. Every cent I earned from The Marquis brought mecloser to starting my business. This morning, I completed the paperwork to form my LLC and paid the application fee.
