“Yeah, well, it wasn’t exactly like Jon had any interest in meeting those needs…” I felt my eyes go wide and I slapped my hand over my mouth when I realized what I’d just admitted. I pulled my hand away and said, “I’m so sorry. That was crude.”
His mouth hitched, and he leaned closer to murmur against my ear, “That’s not something you’ll ever have to worry about with me. You know, if you decide you want this marriage to be in more than name only.”
I think my gulp was audible before I asked, “Shouldn’t that be a mutual decision?”
“Sure. But you already know how I feel. I don’t care how slow we have to go, but I want to give this marriage a real shot.” He paused before continuing, “And I don’t want to go into it already planning to get divorced.”
I wanted that, too. More than anything. But I couldn’t allow myself to believe someone like him would really want to be with someone like me.
“But we’re so different,” I whispered.
“Only because you haven’t had the chance to experience the world. I want to be by your side when you do—not as your keeper, but as your partner. And I want to be Ruthie’s dad.”
I stared up at this handsome man offering to stand by my side and help me raise my daughter, and my heart felt like it might explode from happiness.
Still, I couldn’t help but try to sabotage it for some reason.
“I thought we were getting to know each other these next couple weeks.”
“What do you think we’re doing right now, darlin’?”
I stared at him for a beat, at war with myself. One side said he was too good to be true, the other side said shut the hell up and enjoy it. Finally, I said, “Okay. But I have a condition.” I didn’t wait for him to ask me what it was before forging on. “I think we should include kissing while we get to know each other.”
The corners of his eyes crinkled as he ran the backs of his fingers along my jawline. “You don’t have to tell me twice, baby.” Then he leaned down and softly kissed my lips.
And I knew in that moment, I was in over my head. He said he wanted to be my partner, but what did I have to offer a man like him? This was not going to end well for me.
Chapter Forty-Five
Alan
It was all I could do not to pull Jessica into my lap and ramp up our makeout session on Brian’s patio.
I tried not to think about how easy it’d be to move from the patio chairs to one of the loungers nearby… but I knew if we got horizontal, I wouldn’t want to stop, and I’d already told myself I was going to honor her and not let things go too far until she was legally my wife.
I was proud for refraining, considering how little blood was left in my brain after the majority of it surged straight to my dick once my lips touched hers.
Her hair was soft when I dug my fingers into it, and when she let out a little contented whimper against my lips, I groaned out loud.
This might be harder than I thought.
Fortunately—or maybe unfortunately—Lainey’s voice called from the doorway, “Hey, are you guys out here?”
We broke the kiss, and I answered, “Yeah. Just having a picnic on the patio.”
She stepped outside and approached where we sat hidden in the moonlight. “Sorry to interrupt, but I think Jess left her phone on the kitchen counter at our place. It’s been going off like crazy, and I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t an emergency or something.” Lainey handed her the phone and added, “For the record, Ruthie’s fine. She’s fast asleep but Grandma Denise refuses to put her in her car seat and won’t let anyone else hold her.”
The visual of my mother ready to fight anyone who tried to take the sleeping baby from her made me smile.
Then Jessica opened her phone and let out a deep sigh, and I asked, “Everything okay?”
“No. My parents want me to come home. My dad has an early shift at the mine, and my mom is worried I’ll wake him up when I get home.”
I stole a glance at Lainey, who did not have a good poker face. Or apparently a filter, because she asked with a scowl, “Why would you wake him up when you came home?”
“I wouldn’t. It’s just her way of saying I need to come home now.”
I had known that was the case, but unlike Lainey, I wasn’t going to make Jess say it out loud.
