“I’m single, I don’t have a job, and because I have a baby, I can’t go back to school until I am married.”
The same hadn’t been true for Ruthie’s dad, even though he’d committed the same sin. But because Jonathan had a penis, the school administration had believed him when he said he’d never been with me, and I was making the whole thing up. Even when the DNA test proved I wasn’t lying, the school found another loophole for Jon to slip through so he could stay in school. Meanwhile, I’d had to go, and I wasn’t allowed back.
The unfairness of it all made me want to scream.
Or cry.
Maybe both.
Either way, Chancellor Vought said I wasn’t allowed back until I was married, otherwise, “I’d be a bad example for the other girls who were serious about their commitment to God, as well as their education”.
Whatever.
Lainey narrowed her eyes.
“Hang on. I have a lot of questions. First off, who said you can’t go to school unless you’re married? I’m going to school, and I’m a single mom.”
Jade shot her sister a look, so Lainey quickly added, “Kind of. I mean, I’m in a relationship now with a great guy, but I’m not married.”
“To be fair, Lain. You probably would be if Shawn hadn’t died.”
I brought my hands to my heart and exclaimed, “I’m so sorry!”
She offered a small smile. “Thank you,” then sat up straighter. “The point is… I’m single, I’ve never been married, and my marital and maternal status have no bearing on whether or not I can go to school.”
“It does at PCO.”
Lainey cocked her head. “PC—”
“Providence Christian Order,” Jade interjected.
I could tell Lainey was trying to keep her face neutral when she replied, “Oh yeah, the private college in Providence Landing…” She turned to me and asked, “They said you can’t go there unless you’re married?”
“Yeah. They just gave me their determination not less than an hour ago. That’s where I’m coming from.”
I couldn’t believe I was spilling my guts to these women, but somehow, it felt safe. Safer than my church “friends,” anyway. Besides, I’d probably never see these ladies again.
Lainey clarified, “Because you have a baby… and you’re not married.”
“Yes. Once I’m married, I can go back.”
“Do youwantto get married?”
“I mean, someday. When I meet the right guy.”
“But you haven’t met him yet?”
I’d thought Jon had been that guy. He’d promised we were going to get married someday. It’s why I’d given him my V-card without the ring. What a rude awakening that had been.
“No, not yet,” I conceded.
Jade asked, “Why not just transfer to a public university?”
Public university?!
“My parents would never let me do that.”
Not after my older sister, Mary, had gone to Appalachian State and then decided to leave the church. That was part of the reason it’d taken a year after graduating high school before I could convince my mom and dad to even let me go to college. And they’d only agreed because I’d suggested PCO, and they’d thought that was my best chance at finding a husband.
