“Well, babe—I am a builder. I think people would be suspicious if I didn’t live in a place like this.”
“Oh.” She chewed her bottom lip while she thought about it. “I hadn’t considered that.”
“It’s got plenty of room for Ruthie and…” I trailed off without finishing my sentence.
“And?” she pressed.
“I don’t know. Ruthie’s siblings? Pets? Whatever we want.”
Her eyes grew wide. “You want Ruthie to have siblings?”
I shrugged. “Well, yeah. Someday. Don’t you?”
“I—I guess.”
“The point is, I built this place intending to raise my family here—however many kids that means. If Ruthie’s our only child, then that’s fine.”
Although as the words came out of my mouth, it didn’t feel fine in my gut. I’d always wanted a big family.
As the garage door came up, she quietly observed, “This is something we probably should have talked about before we got married, huh?”
“We don’t have to talk about it right now.”
Considering her reaction, I’d actually rather not.
I shut the van off and reached for the door handle but stopped when she asked, “How many kids were you thinking?”
“I don’t know. It’s a seven-bedroom house, so however many we want.”
“That doesn’t answer my question. When you envisioned raising your family here, how many kids did you imagine?”
“Four,” I blurted out. Then I elaborated in a quieter voice, “Two boys and two girls.”
Her smile was soft when she touched my arm. “That’s what I’ve always envisioned, too.”
I’m going to have a future with this woman.
It felt real.
Which only made the pit in my stomach feel larger.
My brother was right—I should have fucking told Jess about my “contract work”beforewe got married. I knew it was too late, now.
The best I could hope for was to slip into wherever the government was sending me, then get the hell out as fast as I could with the enemy and my wife being none the wiser.
The stakes had never been higher, but then again I’d never been in love before, either.
****
Jessica
The house—let’s be real, mansion—in Lancastle was as beautiful inside as it was out. Alan said I could redecorate if I wanted, but there wasn’t a thing I would change.
It was like I belonged there.
Which was scary. I’d always thought I’d raise Ruthie in South Haven, but now I wasn’t so sure. I could see a family with him in that house.
And I knew I’d want us all to have the same last name—including Ruthie.
